i lost my subject line

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 18 Vol 4

 

Important Holidays: MM Birthday

 

Weather:   Tornado! Of Jager that is. Open wide and take it all in!

 

Urbandictionary word of the day: Walmartarian

 

Shopping solely at Wal-Mart; acquiring everything from Walmart. After several months of practicing Walmartarianism, your house and personality becomes Walmartized. You may also want to google People of Walmart, to see if you are a featured customer.

 

Next week is going to be a West Side Store(y) Battle of Home Depotarians and Walmartarians in the KFC parking lot.

 

Song of the Week: Bill Withers, Lean On Me

 

Notable Accomplishments:  Nate's swim team is undefeated and won both relay and individual championships.  

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   These are pre-selected and will be revealed at the end of the day. In honor of the final Harry Potter… You put on the sorting hat. Which house does it place you in?

 

A –

B –

C –

D –

 

So, pick a letter. Feel free to state which you think you should be in (Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Gryffindor).

 

FWN Member of the Week: MM!

 

MM's favorite reindeer is Rudolph, and if she had to dye her hair an unnatural color it would be pink. When growing up on the farm her favorite animals were the baby pigs. Lastly, her current shoes are croc flip flops.

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: Nada

 

Look for more next time,

 

c@r!nn3

Miss Mumbo Jumbo

Official Editor

Have Typewriter Will Travel

Family Weekly Newsletter

Special Early Edition due to Editor Travels

Issue 18 Vol 4

Important Holidays: Ma Birthday, Cam Birthday

Weather:   Dear Past Newsletter Reader: Beware, the funnel cake has trace elements of a drug that will make you want to run away and join the circus. Consider before devouring.

 Love, Future Newsletter Reader

Urbandictionary word of the day: Index Finger Discount

Stealing something is a five-finger discount. Index finger discount is illegally downloading.

Cam: How did you get the Barney collection on your computer background?

Nate: Attempted an index finger discount to get Rocky. Unfortunately, it was laced with a virus, a popup came that said, "If it Dies, it Dies," and now Barney is here forever, slowly sending my hard drive to insanity.

Song of the Week: Smoke on the Water, Deep Purple

Notable Accomplishments:  Nate did a great job at the horseshoe washer game last weekend. Carinne was sub-par at Beer Pong.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Of course, you are a world renowned chef. Streets are lined with those excited to eat at your establishment. Your specialty is something you can actually currently make very well. It doesn't have to be fancy. People like it anyway.

For example, Alex may have Breakfast du Jour – Frosted Flakes tamed with 2% milk, served with a spoon. Or, CP – colorful, sugary gummi bears drizzled with tequila, aged overnight in Tupperware, a decadent barbeque treat.

FWN Member of the Week: Mum!

For lunch today, BK had a gyro. If she had to pick a new month for her birthday she'd pick October because it's so pretty. Given the choice of losing an arm or a leg, she answered 'leg' to this "very morbid question". Ma's favorite ice cream is chocolate chip cookie dough.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3

Miss Mumbo Jumbo

Official Editor

O'er the Land of the Free

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 17 Vol 4

Important Holidays: Independence Day (made in America)

Weather:   What’s more American than spandex? Invented in 1959 in Virginia, pull on your pair of American Flag Spandex, grab an Iron City (Pittsburgh), a Watermelon (locovore), and jump in your pool (likely China), or use the hose (100% American water). Cheers & star spangles!

Urbandictionary word of the day: Freudian Click (Freud is Austrian)

Sending an e-mail to someone by mistake. (The first e-mail was generated in USA)

BK: So since when is “Colonoscopy Happy Hour” an Important Holiday?

CP: What? Oh crap – Freudian Click. That was an unedited newsletter. I was writing that for research purposes only.

Song of the Week: Amerika, Rammstein (Rammstein is German)

Notable Accomplishments:  Nate no longer works at Shop n Save. Carinne bought $32 worth of groceries this week, $25 of which was made in America.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Celebrity Deathmatch (also made in America!): Who is the victorette?

A)    Snow White

B)     Cinderella

C)     Ariel

D)    Jasmine

FWN Member of the Week: Cam!

Cam’s middle name is James. If given the choice of living under water or in space he’d pick under water. If he could be on any game show he’d be on Lingo, and the most recent text message either sent or rec’d was “ok sweet”.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Snow White in German is “Schneewittchen”.

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3

Miss Mumbo Jumbo

Official Editor

international woman of mystery

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 16 Vol 4

Important Holidays: Gina's Birthday, Tracy's Birthday

Weather:   "No more Excel, no more boss, you're off from work, it's their loss!" Summertime break from work would be so good for the soul. Since three months off just isn't possible unless you're in the education field, treat yourself to a beer and stogie day or a mani/pedi/margarita day.

Urbandictionary word of the day: o.o

So when you type :) it is an online grin, an emoticon. Similarly, when you type o.o online, it is a "googly-eyes" meaning confusion and/or shock. Can be varied to be cockeyed, O.o or o.O, or extreme shock O.O.

FWN: Jonaid got Carinne a ring!

MM: O.O

FWN: A ring of cheese, that is, to go with the bowl of crackers.

FWN: Ron & Michael are going on tour!

MM: o.o

FWN: Tour de Franzia, that is.

Note: In the editor's personal opinion, the googly-eyes are quite annoying. Just ask the darn question.

Song of the Week: Chuck Berry, Johnny B. Goode

Notable Accomplishments:  BK/RE enjoyed date day at two winning Pirates games today. Nate's swim team is so far undefeated. Brandi's dog Coco is at work with her today. Cam's speeding ticket got dismissed.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   These four objects from Super Mario (original NES) are in front of you, in real life, not in the game. Which do you personally eat (almost like the Jefferson Airplane song…)?

A)    The Mushroom

B)     The Star

C)     The Fire Flower

D)    The Frog Suit

FWN Member of the Week: Tracy!

Tracy's shampoo leaves her hair smooth and silky. Given the option of living in space or under water, she'd pick space. Her first job was at an ice cream parlor at the Magic World Amusement Park. Lastly, if she were a pro athlete, Tracy would be a tennis player.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Snow White in German is "Schneewittchen".

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3

Miss Mumbo Jumbo

Official Editor 

Fyr Fytr

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 3 Vol 15

 

Important Holidays: Father's Day, Jonaid's Birthday, First Day of Summer

 

Weather:  This week may become slightly awry as you decide to pick a random song off your iTunes and re-enact it. It would've worked out just fine had your iTunes landed on "Margaritaville" like you hoped, but as luck would have it, you landed on "can't touch this". Unfortunately everything you try to touch… You can't.

 

Urbandictionary word of the day: 1337 (pronounced "LEET")

 

17'5 4 (0mpu73r l4ngu4g3. (translate: it's a computer language. It originates from a hacker group.)

 

Carinne in 1337 is (4r!nn3. Can you write your name in 1337?

 

Song of the Week: Smashing Pumpkins, 1979

 

Notable Accomplishments:  Carinne and RE Jr survived NYC. Marco's high school soccer team (Fox Chapel 1990) was inducted into the state hall of fame. Nicole's softball team won their championship. Cam comes home from training this week. Alex starts grad school on Monday. Nate got a new job. Carinne won a Gettysburg t-shirt.

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  GTL is a daily routine standing for Gym, Tan, Laundry. Using your initials, come up with a daily routine.

 

FWN Member of the Week: J-Lo!

 

J0n4id is a special guest to the newsletter this week. Given the option to live in outer space or underwater, he'd pick underwater. For breakfast he had a protein shake, bagel and yogurt. His high school mascot was an iron man (knight) and if he was forced to dye his hair an unnatural color it would be "gray silky sexy smooth", which last time I checked isn't an unnatural color, but will in fact happen naturally in about twenty years.

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: Hammerpants are MIA

 

Look for more next time,

 

(4r!nn3

Miss Mumbo Jumbo

Official Editor

The Beer Fairy

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 3 Vol 14

Important Holidays: Flag Day

Weather:   School is out, popsicles are in, and so are the ants (not aunts!). You know, those pesky buggers who get under your skin and like to pick at you in uncomfortable places. Hey! That’s like real aunts! Celebrate aunts/ants this week by sharing your Natural Light to keep the peace. “A little for the pavement ant, a little for the editor, a little for the aunt aunt…”

Urbandictionary word of the day: Etm.

The literal Latin translation is “et merda”, meaning, “and sh!t”. Used in replacement of etc., where appropriate.

This weekend Nate has to mow the lawn, weed the garden, weed wack, etm.

Song of the Week: Gnarls Barkley, Crazy

Notable Accomplishments:  Nate is now a senior; Lexy is a highschooler. Lana’s bloodwork came back OK. Cam saved the army’s tent from a flood by digging a trench in front of it as water started to flow in.  REPJr is enjoying being a globetrotter as he’ll see each of the US coasts in less than a week. UM/T/Lexy are enjoying the beach however RIP UM’s Crackberry.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   You’re on Action News. What anchor(wo)man are you? For example main anchor, weatherdude, etc. Feel free to use a traditional one or be creative.

PFWN Member of the Week: Gina!

When she was a kid, Gina wanted to be a writer when she grew up. Her favorite letter of the alphabet is G. If given the option of living underwater or in space, she’d live in space. Lastly, Gina most recently showered yesterday.  

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: ZzzZz…

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3

Miss Mumbo Jumbo

Official Editor

Military Chicken

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 3 Vol 13

Important Holidays: None

Weather:   Regardless of the weather you will be relaxing. So who cares? Yodelay-ee-oo!    

Urbandictionary word of the day: Ridin Qwerty

Texting while driving in a location where texting while driving is illegal

Although I don’t text while the vehicle is moving, at stoplights I send messages to pass the time. In NJ that’s ridin qwerty.

Song of the Week: Old Alabama, Brad Paisley featuring Alabama

Notable Accomplishments:  The FWN welcomes Brandi to the newsletter! Tracy gets the Get Better Soon cards this week; luckily it was only dehydration that put her in the hospital. Lana also is getting Get Well Soon cards after a vet visit. Carinne won a wine book on a wine blog. Carinne was #17 in the nation at buzztime trivia last week. Alex and Greggy enjoyed the NJ Wine Festival (Carinne did NOT win the trip to Italy). Nate and Lexy are finishing up their school years; Cam leaves for Ft. Bragg tomorrow.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   If a complete stranger sneezes, do you say (God) bless you?

FWN Member of the Week: Ma!

BK is so right handed that she could practically chop the left one off and function just fine. Her favorite class in high school was English and if she were to be any animal she’d be a dog on a houseboat. Lastly, given the choice between living in outer space or under water, she’d pick outer space.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Editor is looking for a typewriter… Old-fashioned, ribbon, none of that electric nonsense…

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3

Miss Mumbo Jumbo

Official Editor