Friday, August 26, 2011

Storm's a-Brewin'

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 24 Vol 4

 

Important Holidays: Mark's Birthday

 

Weather:   Weather forecasters are saying a hurricane of this magnitude is a "once in a lifetime event". Most of NJ has been evacuated and multiple public transportation options have been closed. So stock up on your liquor, make your iPod hurricane playlist, and buckle down. It's a summertime snowday (hollicane?).

 

Urbandictionary word of the day (brought to you by AJ & MM): Frinend

 

Someone you really like to drink a lot with. Antonym of Frinenemy, someone you either do not drink a lot with and/or pour your drinks on.

 

[BeerBook Request]: You have been Frinended by AJ! Please click yes or no to affirm you do or do not like to drink a lot with this person.

 

Song of the Week: Ella Fitzgerald, Ill Wind (You're blowing me no good)

 

Notable Accomplishments:  BK joined a beer club. AL's photo has been chosen as a finalist in a work competition.   Carinne and MM beat UM and Jonaid at Bocce. Carinne got free tickets to Trenton Thunder. Steve Jobs iRetired this week.

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   SAT Prep! Analogy time! Fill in the blank!

 

Werewolves are to a full moon what _____ is to hurricane.  

 

FWN Member of the Week: Mark!

 

Mark's college major was business & economics. In high school, his favorite activity he was a part of was football. The most recent alcoholic beverage that he partook in was an East End Pedal Pale Ale that he is actually currently still enjoying (drafternoon, anyone?) Lastly, if given the choice of living under water or in space, he'd pick space, because asteroids are easier to dodge than sharks.

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: Nada  

 

Look for more next time,

 

c@r!nn3

Miss Mumbo Jumbo

Official Editor

Friday, August 19, 2011

You are getting very very sleepy...

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 23 Vol 4

 

Important Holidays: Nada

 

Weather:   Scientifically, a haboob is a duststorm or sandstorm. This is not to be confused with underboob, which is an unfortunate condition commonly noted while wearing a swimsuit. As the hot weather is a good source for both, be on the watch for both the haboob and the underboob this week.

 

Urbandictionary word of the day (brought to you by D): Jesusy Things

 

When you feel religious décor is inappropriate, you can request its relocation by asking that all Jesusy Things are removed.

 

Based on a true story:

D: And send a bouquet, but not with any of those Jesusy Things.

Florist: I know someone at my church with your last name. Are you related to B?

D: Uhhh…

Florist: Don't I also give your son drum lessons?

D: Uhhh…

 

Song of the Week: Toby Keith, I Love This Bar

 

Notable Accomplishments:  The newsletter's Top Ten Hypothetical Situations of the Week got published in a magazine. MM got a new car (taking name suggestions).  BK and RE Jr went to the Steelers game last night. Alex spotted pumpkin beer. Cam underwent surgery for his toe.  

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Okay, it's been awhile for a mad lib. Before reading below, pick a FWN member and a noun. For those of you who need a reminder, a noun is a person, place, thing, or idea.

 

 

 

You make the decision to see a hypnotist to cure your bad habit. Unfortunately, due to budget cuts, your hypnotist is Dr. (FWN member), who inadvertently convinces you that you are (a/an, as applicable) (noun).

 

FWN Member of the Week: UM!

 

The most recent movie UM saw in a theater was Hangover 2. He is 1.8796 meters tall, and if forced to go either shoeless or shirtless for an entire year he'd go shoeless because his "abs are not up to par, and he could be the crazy sock guy!". His favorite kind of dessert is a stogie, but if it has to be a sweet, he likes twinkies.

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: Nada  

 

Look for more next time,

 

c@r!nn3

Miss Mumbo Jumbo

Official Editor


Friday, August 12, 2011

It's Nice to Have You All Together

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 22 Vol 4  

An issue in memoriam, RE Sr., 1935-2011 

 

Important Holidays: UM's Birthday

 

Weather:   There is now another lawn mowing, cigar smoking gentleman in the heavens; keep your eyes out for wayward hay fever, foggy areas, and chardonnay rain. 

 

Urbandictionary word of the day: Another Nail

 

One day there were a lot of nails in the driveway at the farm house. The concern was that they would be run over and tires would become flat. Poppy kept searching for nails, and every time one was found, he would say "another nail" in a very humorous tone. To this day, the phrase is sometimes stated.

 

Poppy: Another nail. 

 

Song of the Week: Bob Seger, Old Time Rock & Roll

 

Notable Accomplishments:  75 years of good life - if we can all make it that far with that much happiness, it's been a success. 

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Would you believe?

 

FWN Member of the Week: Poppy

 

Today we recognize Poppy, as his farewell 

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: Chardonnays all around.

 

Look for more next time,

 

c@r!nn3

Tickerdook

Official Editor 



Friday, August 5, 2011

The New & Improved SPF-7000

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 21 Vol 4

 

Important Holidays: Lexy's Birthday, Nicole's Birthday

 

Weather:   ~~~^~~~ see that? Shaaaaark!!!! Everyone out of the water!

 

Urbandictionary word of the day: Beach Brain

 

When you have nothing but the beach on your mind, so much that it distracts your ability to do anything else.

 

BK: And after you wash the dishes, I want you to hose off the deck.

AK: What? After I sunscreen the dishes you want me to give a beer to the deck?

BK: What?

AK: Sorry – my beach brain is kicking in.

 

Song of the Week: The Boy is Mine, Brandy and Monica

 

Notable Accomplishments:  Cam cut Nate's hair. Tim got a new job. Alex passed her first semester of grad school. Lana is on her first vacation.  

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Ben & Jerry's names an ice cream flavor after you. What is it?

 

For example- the Car-In-Park: A little bit of greasy caramel and some oreo wheels. Vroom vroom start it up!

 

FWN Member of the Week: Lexy!

 

For lunch today Lexy had a cheeseburger and salad from Hardees. Her favorite season is summer and her middle name is Nicole. Given the choice of living in space or underwater, she picks space because she's too scared of sharks. ~~~~~^~~~~ shaaark!

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: Shark week ruins the ocean for me. But I cannot stop.  

 

Look for more next time,

 

c@r!nn3

Miss Mumbo Jumbo

Official Editor