DJ mullet earns you five dolla

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 47 Vol 3

Important Holidays: None

Weather:   First it was the iPad, then it was the facebook. Shortly after was California, Honduras, and now it is the Superbowl. Next, his name is written on tablecloths, photos of handshakes. 2011 is the year of R Jr. (R Jr!!!)

Urbandictionary word of the day: Unhappy Hour

                                                            

The lack of beverage specials from 4-8pm.

When in doubt of where to go after work, always first eliminate those with the unhappy hour.

Song of the Week: Hit the Road Jack, Ray Charles

Notable Accomplishments: Carinne got 18 inches of snow on Wednesday, double what the weathermen had predicted. This snowstorm also included thundersnow. She also won $100 and UM won $25 gift card to GIANT.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Deathmatch. Betty Crocker vs. Aunt Jemima. Salivate it out.

FWN Member of the Week: Poppy!  

Today, Poppy is wearing an olive green shirt. He has no idea why he was named Ronald (sorry R II, and CameRON and CarinnaRON and BarsRON and NatRON, your heritage is unknown). His favorite chips are corn curls and his favorite Steeler is Polamalu.  

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

carinnamolecules?

Official Editor of FWN

lovocores vs locopours

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 46Vol 3

Important Holidays: None

Weather:   “Carinne stands from her chair. It swivels- WAIT IT STOPS. She turns, waves hi to a waitress but quickly grabs her beer.” “Did you know she had three siblings Bob?” “Really! And seven letters in her first name. Carinne is picking up the glass- look at that chug. What form.” Without baseball and football, sports announcers are abundant and bored. Beware, if they come near you, you will be announced.

Urbandictionary word of the day: Buttula

                                                            

In the extreme circumstance that you run out of TP and have no other methods of acquiring TP, you could always use a spatula. Once a spatula is used for this function, it no longer becomes a spatula, but instead is a buttula.

BK’s suggested solution to Carinne’s toilet paper shortage was to use a buttula.

Song of the Week: Vivaldi, The Four Seasons

Notable Accomplishments: Liz is picking her wedding dress this weekend. LV got a new furnace. Carinne’s car is on the mend.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   So you’re having an epically bad week. Everything seems to be going wrong. You’re standing in a skanky, grossnasty bathroom. You see a penny, face up on the floor. Do you pick it up?  

FWN Member of the Week: UM!!

If forced to dye his hair an unnatural color, UM would pick green ala Billy Jo [sic… It’s actually Joe] Armstrong. If he were to professionally coach a competitive board game team he would coach Chutes and Ladders. Lunch today was McChicken, McDouble, Large Fry and Large Mickey D's Sweet Tea (someone is not on a New Year's Diet). His most recent FB status is 'It would seem that the 'How to Raise your Teenage Daughter' movie is SO completely different than the book.".

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

carinnamolecules?

Official Editor of FWN

laboratory professionals!

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 45 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Geo’s 50th Birthday, MLK Jr Day

Weather:   Beware, beware. All of this star-switching stuff is actually a ploy marketed by Baltimore to confuse and disorient Steelers fans into thinking they are Ravens fans. Don’t heed all of this nonsense. If you’re a Scorpio, stay a Scorpio. And go Steelers!

Urbandictionary word of the day: Smartphone Shuffle

                                                            

The act of walking slowly or ‘shuffling’ because you are too preoccupied with tasks on your smartphone.

Announcer: Alex is ahead in the race- oh wait, she’s slowing down- it looks like she’s reading a text from Greggy- OH NO huge pileup behind Alex, angry joggers unable to get around her – it looks like Cam has just taken the lead! Alex would have won this if it weren’t for her smartphone shuffle!

Song of the Week: Take Me Out, Atomic tom

Notable Accomplishments: Carinne met Snooki last night.  School starts for cam for the first time and for Barson for the last time.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   They let you name the new star sign (if you haven’t heard, they added a 13^th star sign). Whatcha call it?

FWN Member of the Week: n/a

MOTW is having an in-service day as it is preparing AARP cards for all of its members that become elderly this year. No MOTW. Instead, a great joke brought to you by BK! What is Steeler #43 made of? POLAMOLECULES!! Ha ha ha ha. Good one.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

carinnamolecules?

Official Editor of FWN

The Perils of Guest Editorship

Guest Editor Alex!

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 44 Vol 3

Important Holidays:Tim’s Birthday

Weather (by BK, R Jr, and CJ):   If you would look out the window or dare to brave the cold, snow, and all-around generally sucky atmosphere, you will realize, yes, January has hit Pittsburgh.  However, all is not lost if you are a member of the polar bear club, as this weather is delightful for leaping into frigid waters.

Urbandictionary word of the day: Comment Jump

                                                            

(v): to disregard, not acknowledge, or skip over a comment when replying on a post or status update.

MJ: Who does R Jr think he is? He just got facebook and now he’s comment jumping me?  No one does that to the Facebook King of Hanover!

Song of the Week (by CJ): Anarchy in the USA, Sex Pistols

Notable Accomplishments: Gina beat out all of the dudes in her office for the most correct wins picked for the 2010 NFL season. Carinne won her weekly office NFL pool this week. Nate had his first car accident. Alex shoveled the driveway and steps before mum had to leave for work. Cam did a polar bear swim on New Year’s Day.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week (by R Jr):  You have the opportunity to star in a movie.  What movie would it be (whether it is just the movie genre or title of an existing movie) and who is your co-star?

Special Bizarre Sign of the Week: See attached image.  How would this image ever make sense?

Special Stogies and Wine Selection (by RJr): Enjoy a different cigar for the new year in a Nub Cameroon (selected for his favorite child) which is small yet mighty.  Don’t be fooled by what you see, this cigar may seem ideal for a quick smoke, but will last an hour.  This cigar is perfected by a Shannon Ridge Chardonnay ($12.99 at State Stores!) which can only be described as yum!  Even the wine drinker who prefers the sweet wines, such as Grex, will love this wine.

FWN Member of the Week: Tim!!!

Tim was primarily nice, but had a sprinkling of naughty throughout the year.  When confronted with candy selection at the check-out in the grocery store, he chooses Take 5 or Twix.  The shoes he is currently wearing are brown with black soles.  Some call him Tim because his parents knew a doctor named Tim and decided it was great name to match a great baby. 

FWN Member of Last Week: Aunt Jul!!!

Aunt Jul was super nice last year. If she had to spend New Year’s in another country, she’d go to France. For lunch she had a ham Sammy on a Joanne Foster bun. She can hold her breath for 28 minutes.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Alex’s Pre-Dawn Driveway Shoveling Service is now running!  Contact Barson for more information.

Look for more next time from your regularly scheduled editor,

Barson “I know what a spatula is” K.

Happy New Year!

Last-Minute Guest Editor of FWN