Friday, February 26, 2010

Welcome to America

Family Weekly Newsletter
Issue 51 Vol 2

Important Holidays: Nada

Weather:  Snow is falling down in chaotic amounts, as usual, but please notice in advance that the snow on your windshield (or, at least, Carinne’s) is yellow, and requires serious OSHA and hazmat precautions. 

Urbandictionary word of the day: stealth abs

When your ripped six pack is covered by a thick layer of fat.

This isn't a beer belly, it's my stealth abs. I just needed to avoid attracting too many ladies with my well defined stomach.

Song of the Week: Doobie Brothers, Drift Away

Notable Accomplishments:  Carinne shoveled the whole sidewalk by herself. Alex, Cam, Nate, Ron Jr are skiing today and all have fallen at least 1x. R Jr won a race vs Alex.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  Would you rather:
a)      Drink as many beers as your age (cp is 24 = 24 beers in one night)
b)      Run as many miles as your house number (521 miles for CP)
c)      Be  as many feet tall as your pant size (I’ll use barson: size 0-1, so she’s pretty short)
d)      Have as many hands as your shoe size (size 7 = 7 hands)?

FWN Member of the Week: Poppy

Poppy’s favorite season is Football Season. If he were an athlete in the winter Olympics, he’d be a bobsledder. He hasn’t had anything for breakfast and his favorite ice cream is butter pecan.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Editor got a Pandora bracelet. Feel free to contribute.

Look for more next time,

Abominable Snowoman
New Jersey: not part of the US
Official Editor

Friday, February 19, 2010

Sofa Surfing

Family Weekly Newsletter
Issue 50 Vol 2

Important Holidays: Nada

Weather:  Feel free to put on some ski goggles and photoshop an Olympic gold medal to yourself. That’s the closest you’ll ever get after Shaun White’s 48.4/50 score.  

Urbandictionary word of the day: Half your age plus 7  

The mathematical equation to determine the creepiness of your dating relationship.

Barson: Is 21 years old.
Greggy: is 20 years old.
21/2=10.5
10.5+7= 17.5
Barson, although a cougar, is not in a creepy relationship.

Bill Clinton: is 64 years old.
Carinne: is 24 years old.
64/2=32
32+7=39
Carinne’s age is <39 therefore this relationship is creepy.

Song of the Week: Nelly, Country Grammar

Notable Accomplishments:  Cam had his senior night with varsity swimming this week. Valentine’s day was a success on all fronts.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  You're forced to take a job where you dress up and act like a muppet. Which muppet are you?

FWN Member of the Week: Lanadog

Lana-dog is an enigma to people in New Jersey (namely, Jonaid) as it is unclear why the –dog suffix is added to the name (“isn’t that obvious?” is the question). She enjoys being the center of attention and making Alex’s bedroom smell bad. If Lana had to choose between an extra paw or an extra tail she’d pick the extra tail because it would increase efficiency as she would be able to slap more than one person at the same time.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Editor got a Pandora bracelet. Feel free to contribute.

Look for more next time,

k!nky carinne
ex-blogger
Official Editor

Friday, February 12, 2010

snowmen appreciation month

Family Weekly Newsletter
Issue 49 Vol 2

Important Holidays: Valentine’s Day, President’s Day, Mardi Gras, UM/T anniversary

Weather:  In honor of valentine’s day open a bottle of Menage-a-trois. For President’s day, whip out some Abe Lincolns and challenge your friends to a Biden Beer Bomb. Make sure you wear your beads on Tuesday to work in case your coworkers decide to go a little crazy.

Urbandictionary word of the day (brought to you by Gina’s Dad)Text-hole

Someone who texts in inappropriate places.

Texting in the following places makes you a text hole: Churches, exams, during a MO session.

Song of the Week: Lady Gaga, Bad Romance

Notable Accomplishments:  RE Jr and Marco both were stuck in the Cincinnati airport and met up for drinks. Cam and Nate have had a full week of school off due to snow; Alex got a few days off; and Carinne’s work closed on Wednesday. Carinne made a beer pong playing snowman. UM won big $ in his football block pool.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  In honor of V-day, this week’s hypothetical situation is to think of a really bad insult.

For example, if I am correct, the one in high school we always used was to “fall off a cliff into spiked rocks and then burst into flames.”

Another one is, “You couldn’t get a date if you tried for free on craigslist.”

FWN Member of the Week: Lexy!

Lexy won the FWN football pool with the final superbowl score of Saints 31 Colts 17. She is the only FWN member to be FWNMOTW twice in a row. Lexy cheered for the colts last weekend. If she had the choice between an extra finger or an extra toe, she'd take the extra finger. When she grows up she wants to deliver babies (midwife). Lastly, last month she sent 7822 text messages, and that was including the fact that she was grounded from the phone for half of the month.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Hiring a snow plower…

Look for more next time,

k!nky carinne
ex-blogger
Official Editor

Friday, February 5, 2010

Usually, I build a small armada of attack snowmen

Family Weekly Newsletter
Issue 48 Vol 2

Important Holidays: Nada

Weather:  100% chance of accumulation for all FWN recipients. Today, we go to field reporter Meteorologist Michael J.  for the weather report:



Urbandictionary word of the day (brought to you by BK)Bromosexual

A close friendship between guys to the extent where to outsiders they may appear homosexual, yet they are entirely heterosexual.

RE: Mark, can you put suntan lotion on my back?
MA: Sorry dude, that’s a little too bromosexual for me.

Song of the Week: Love Rollercoaster, Red Hot Chili Peppers

Notable Accomplishments:  Bev got a “Rhino” – four strikes in a row – and a record setting 194 in bowling last night. WVU got closed this afternoon. Cam and Nate bought a new video game. Carinne started her Cancun-Friendly-Stomach diet this week. RE Jr. wore a Gettysburg shirt in public on Wednesday. UM found a free version of Microsoft office online.  (Sorry all, news is a bit slow this round). RE Jr’s meeting got canceled so he went to the HH.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  You’re snowed in. You’re snug in your armchair with some popcorn, a tasty beverage. What movie are you gonna watch? (Any movie, doesn’t have to be your favorite, just one you’re in the mood for right now.)

FWN Member of the Week: Lexy!

For lunch, Lexy had a meatball sub, fruit cup, and chocolate ice cream. If her hair were to be any unnatural color, she’d want it to be green. Lexy can hold her breath for 20 seconds, and if she were an athlete in the Winter Olympics she’d want to be a bobsledder.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Attached is a randomly chosen Super Bowl Spreadsheet. Winner of the final score is next week’s FWNMOTW!

Look for more next time,

k!nky carinne
ex-blogger
Official Editor