Royale with Cheese

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 51 Vol 1

Important Holidays: Nada

Weather: They say if March is in like a lion it will be out like a lamb… Thus by all scientific principles the following will work: Drink a crapton this Saturday night, then into Sunday you may have a nasty hangover (in like a lion). Then! At the end of the month, drink a crapton again, and by scientific principle that March will be “out like a lamb”, you will not be hungover. Do it, it works.

Urbandictionary word of the day: Yellular

The loudness one adopts in response to a bad cell-phone connection, in the misguided hope that talking louder will improve the connection.

Ron is the king of Yellulars.

Ron (at Don Parmesean’s): How the H*ll Are Ya?!?!

Ron (at HH): How the H*ll Are Ya?!?!

Ron (at Mark’s): How the H*ll Are Ya?!?!

Ron (in the living room): How the H*ll Are Ya?!?!

Song of the Week: Asher Roth, I Love College

Notable Accomplishments: Cam shaved his head, and WPIALs is currently ongoing.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: So we’re playing e-Apples to Apples. The “adjective” is indubitable. What noun/idea/action card do you throw down? No restrictions.

Indubitable definition: unquestionable

How to play Apples to Apples reminder: You have a handful of nouns, actions, etc. An adjective is thrown down, and everyone puts down their noun/action that they feel is most applicable to the adjective. However in this case, there are no cards and thus no restrictions. Feel free to offer a phrase, movie, person, anything.

FWN Member of the Week: Mum Mum!

Mum Mum’s high school did not have a mascot (???). Her shoe size is 9 ½. When she was a kid, her household chore was to weed the garden. Her favorite dessert is peach pie.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Dial R Jr and ask for the How The H*ll Are Ya yellular special. See our ad on Craigslist!  

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Start drinking.

Official Editor

Mo-om, did you wash my leiderhosen?

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 50 Vol 1

Important Holidays: Mardigras, Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday

Weather: Cold with no sign of a heat wave in sight. Keep bundled up, folks.

Urbandictionary word of the day (brought to you by R Jr): Liquidity

Liquidity is when you look at your retirement funds and wet your pants!

Liquidity is when you look at your retirement funds and wet your pants! (Editor requested a sentence from R Jr; he sent the same thing. Epic fail.)

Song of the Week (brought to you by CJ): Soul Bossa Nova, Quincy Jones (bonus points if you can name what song this is more commonly known as)

Notable Accomplishments: Thoughts and prayers are with Tom as he is again in the hospital, though reportedly getting much better. There are cool professional photographer pictures of Lexy's cheerleading competition, contact Tracy for the link if you didn't get it. Alex swam, and I quote, "one WHOLE half mile… with breaks. For the BOGO child in swimming, this is impressive." Cam dyed his hair blue.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: Both of these go for two weeks: would you rather: drink a glass of water from the toilet bowl daily (not necessarily your just cleaned toilet bowl…) or not change your underwear (for two whole weeks - it doesn't come off)?

FWN Member of the Week: Alex!

The last time she showered was last night due to her swimming extravaganza. The most recent song she downloaded on her iTunes was "Why Can't I" by Liz Phair.  Her current favorite movie is P.S. I Love You. If she were stuck on a desert island with appliance and one plug, she would bring her microfridge.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: None

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Beads! Throw 'em!!

Official Editor

Great Balls of Fire! (goodness gracious)

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 49 Vol 1

Important Holidays: Friday the 13^th, St. Pink and Sappy Vomit Day, President's Day, UM&T Anniversary, and a special shout out to AL&T, whose anniversary was inadvertently neglected to be announced last week.

Weather: Papercuts will be rampant throughout the nation this weekend as mass amounts of small letters with endearments are opened. This spread of blood will result in a 85% chance of vampires in most areas; be sure to pack your garlic.

Special New Years Weight Loss Section: AND THE RESULTS ARE IN! We are a lighter, healthier group of people!

First of all, let's announce those who were stalemate. Aunt Jul, Carinne & UM lost zilch. (This was a relief to Carinne – after the superbowl, she was sure she'd gained.)

Aunt Lynne! Lost 5.4lbs

Ron Jr! Lost 4lbs.

Bev! Lost 1lb

Hooray! No one gained.

Special request, by multiple people, to extend the competition to Easter. We'll keep it going and have another weigh in then, but we won't have a weekly section on it. Keep up the good work! All are welcome to join the biggest loser for this next month – weigh yourself now and then for the edition before Easter! You will be reminded!!!

Special Holiday Love Section: Find out how much you love someone (or something) with the love-o-meter!http://www.love-meter.net/love-calculator/love-meter.php

Carinne has a 68% love for chocolate and a 78% love of vegetables.

FWN Personals: Michael will always love Tracy more than Facebook.

Happy Make Out With Me Day Barson! Love Wigglebutt.

Happy Anniversary to my beautiful wife.

Dear Take-Home Math Exam, I hope I don't set you on fire this Valentine's Day weekend. Actually, I kind of want to. Love, Chloe

Dear Editor in Chief: You're hot. Let's go out sometime. Love, Carinne

Dear Michael & Tracy, Happy Anniversary, Love Lynne & Tom

Ron and Dee = Lynne and Tom + Ron and Bev+ Michael and Tracy = Carinne, Alex, Cam, Nate and Lexy. What better love can that be and a blessing.

Dear Mom & Dad, Happy Valentines Day, Love Lynne & Tom

To my eldest sister, Bucky! You make me feel so lucky! Your quite the gal, I'm glad you're my pal. May your Valentine's Day be ducky! Love, sister

Dear Ron, You are the love of my life. Yours Always, Bev.

For Bev:  To the queen, long may she reign.  Love Ole Stoge.

Dear Tom, I love you as much as Angel hates me, Love Lynne

Dear Carinne, Alex, Cam, Nate & Lexy, Happy Valentines Day, consider this your card. Love Aunt Lynne & Tom

To familie, cam, and nate: reh reh pfpfpfpfpf!!! Love blimpie

Dear WN Members: Thanks for reading! Love you! <3 editor

Urbandictionary word of the day: ex-hole 

your azzhole ex-husband, ex-girlfriend or just plain ex. a phrase used to refer to that person you used to date that you can't stand.

Nate: I'm so glad you broke up with her, Cam. What an ex-hole.

Cam: (bursts into tears) I don't want to be alone on valentine's day… She was the best ever… 

Song of the Week: Death Cab for Cutie, I Will Possess Your Heart

Notable Accomplishments: Poppy has made quite a bit of progress in his walking therapy. Keep up the positive attitude and great work! Lexy has reached womanhood! Aunt Jul's doggy will be neutered this week (Bob Barker "Remember to spay and neuter your pets!), so on behalf of the Price is Right, we all thank you for helping animal population control. Bev's company was named supplier of the year by her corporate office! Cam and Nate get to experience a full-body-shave for the last ditch swim meet (last chance to qualify for the western PA conference championships). Cam dyed his hair blue. FWN welcomes Gina to the newsletter!

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: You and your significant other are forced to re-create a romantic scene from a movie. Any famous love/romance scene can be redone (the sappier, the better). What scene or movie do you do? (If you don't have a significant other, fear not, one will be provided).

Don't worry about looking/being awkward – say you're wanting to recreate a beach scene but are afraid of yourself in a bikini – who cares? Assume you look great and fit the role perfectly.

FWN Member of the Week: Mark!

Mark has, indeed, called in sick when he wasn't sick at all. His middle name is Aaron. The first concert he ever went to was Journey with Van Halen as an opener (with all of the original members for both bands. He was 15). Lastly, his degree in college was Business Administration with a focus on Study Accounting (debits and credits and numbers OH MY!).

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: "Rule number one: Don't propose to a girl on a bus, you got that? Rule number two: Don't tell her it's because you had a bad dream." – Walk the Line

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Be Mine!

Official Editor

This Newsletter is 3-D Glasses Friendly

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 47 Vol 1

Important Holidays: Nada

Weather: Bikinis? Fugghedaboudit. Bring out your long johns because this cold ain't goin nowhere, no how.

Special New Years Weight Loss Section: One more week til weigh in. Start cuttin' the carbs!

Urbandictionary word of the day: Drafternoon

Any time after 12:00pm when you start pouring cold ones

(at the office)

Bev: three… two… one… Alright it's officially 12. Let's head down for the rest of the Drafternoon.  

Song of the Week: Propane Nightmares, Pendulum

Notable Accomplishments: Alex has is eligible for another scholarship. UM is on Facebook and ISO friends. The Steelers won the superbowl. Aunt Lynne got some awesome pictures from the victory parade. Cam and Nate get this week's creativity award for posing with the red wax spill on the floor. Nate was the only FM to win any money in the Steelers pool (he won $15 at third quarter). Beer pong was played last weekend; C/AK won one, CJ/NC won one. Lexy made guest shots.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: You get to choose a new mascot for a holiday. What do you pick?

Feel free to do any holiday, either completely obscure or popular, from any country or culture. (ex, McCrack, the dropped hard boiled Easter Egg replaces the easter bunny. Or Mike Tyson for Canada's boxing day. Or punxatawney patty, and we'd all get free burgers if the ground beef sees its shadow). I'm having too much fun with this.

FWN Member of the Week: UM!

UM's current desktop background is provided as an attachment to this newsletter edition. His high school mascot (he went to Mars High, mind you) was the Planets (now, they are the Fighting Planets… beware, the gravitational pull may catch you). He can do a handstand for, at its maximum, 1.5 seconds. He absolutely despises crawfish, and even the smell of them makes him want to vomit.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: If anyone ever wants to be guest-editor, you are more than welcome to do so! Please remember to send in any notable accomplishments, suggestions, classifieds, etc at any point throughout the week. Any comments are always welcome!

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Six mo' weeks o' winta

Official Editor