Double Dipping

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 16 Vol 1 

Important Holidays:  Canada Day (July 1), The Battle of Gettysburg (July 1-3)

Weather:  A swarm of bugs is coming in from the southwest. The weekend will be muddy and smoky, leaving you ready for air conditioning and a shower come Monday. Tents and campers are going to pop up in the north west region of the state.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Editor’s Apology:

Due to my extreme disorganization and lack of attention to detail, a word-of-the-day was used twice. Here at FWN, we strive for excellence. This is nothing short of unacceptable. Please note that the proper people have been fired and we are working to correct the problem for future editions. We continually strive for excellence and perfection at this newsletter institution. In this week’s issue, we have not one, but TWO words of the day to replace last week’s slaughter.

Frisbeetarianism

The philosophy that when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and gets stuck.

"I don't believe in rencarnation I am a strong Frisbeetarianist."

email bail

Using email to back out or ditch on plans, dates and even relationships.

He didn't want a confrontation so he decided to email bail on the chick he promised to call last night.

Song of the week: Warren Zevon, Werewolves of London

Notable Accomplishments: Alex and Cam both went off the high dive at the wave pool.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: Who is the woman to blame?

Family Member of the Week: Member-Of-The-Week office is closed in celebration of Canada Day. Look for one next week!

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds: Carinne wants a job. Keep your eyes open for waitressing and stuff like that. She can do that kind of crap til she finds something permanent.

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Now I’m no better than your average homeless girl.

Someone sign me up for welfare.

College Class of 2008

Look At My Pants!!!

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 15 Vol 1

Special Early Edition because of those on Vaca/Travelling Tomorrow

Important Holidays:  THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER !!!!!!

Weather: Slightly depressing as Carinne’s tan is fading. We’re seeing some syrup on the horizon, being drained into some pancake “breakfast for dinner” specialties in western PA.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Early Nerd Special

Midnight showing on the day of release of a highly-anticipated film, typically of the science-fiction/fantasy genre.

"I'd like one adult ticket to the Early Nerd Special of 'Star Wars Episode 3'."

Song of the week: Sheryl Crow, Soak up the Sun

Notable Accomplishments: Two GPS-es were bought in the past week by the Ron Jr. household. They are no longer lost and randomly roaming the world in search of themselves.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: You’re guaranteed to sing the song of your choice perfectly at Karaoke Night. Whatever you choose, you’ll pull it off well. What do you sing? (editor’s choice: Four Non Blondes, What’s Going On)

Family Member of the Week: Lexy!!!! Welcome back from jaw-ja

For breakfast, Lexy ate honey nut cheerios. Her favorite cheer stunt are back tucks and back handsprings. If she could only eat one food for the rest of her life, it would be grapes filled with chocolate (do those exist?). Her dream vaca is to the bahamas.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds: H-ville Rehab is making T-shirts with motivational slogans on them. It’s a contest. If you think of one, send ideas to MM by Monday night.

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Now I’m no better than your average homeless girl.

Someone sign me up for welfare.

College Class of 2008

mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

rettelsweN ylkeeW ylimaF

Unlucky Issue 13 Vol 1

Important Holidays:  Friday the 13^th, Father’s Day, Flag Day, Lana’s Birthday

Weather: Lots of super fun work around the house is in the weekend forecast for women and children as the dads get to do nothing

Urbandictionary word of the day:  yellow listed

a person who does not wash their hands after urinating is placed on the 'yellow list', or they are 'yellow listed'

Co-worker: You may want to double up on the hand sanitizer after shaking hands with Edith, she was yellow listed last week.

Song of the week: Toxic, Local H

Notable Accomplishments: Nobody did anything remotely exciting this week… Stop sucking, people

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: Choose one of the following.

a)      You are the lead singer of your new rock band. What do you decide to name it?

b)     You are the bad guy in a scary movie. You get to pick the title of said movie. What is it?

Family Member of the Week: Raff!

Raff makes a special Household appearance on every Friday the 13^th. His favorite thing to do is nothing. He was made famous for his bum dance. His favorite family member is Carinne. He does not like people otherwise.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

Carinne 

Now I’m no better than your average homeless girl.

Someone sign me up for welfare.

College Class of 2008

kind of a lame issue

Family Weekly Newsletter 

Issue 13 Vol 1

Important Holidays:  It’s a really boring week, folks. Nuthin.

Weather: Good god it’s hot. Hot. Hot. There will be a bikini and awkward old guy in a speedo frenzy in the northeast. Surround yourself with popsicles. Preferably ones with vodka in them.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Undisclosed Recipient

Mum mum’s alias of people she sends mass e-mails to.

Because all of Mum-Mum’s friends are secret agents, if their true identities were ever to be revealed, they would self-destruct. The Undisclosed Recipient function therefore prevents this from happening.

Song of the week: The Scorpions with the Berlin philharmonic orchestra, Hurricane 2000… Listen to this. Even if you don’t usually listen to the song of the week, try this one. You won’t regret it – it’s cool.

Notable Accomplishments: Nate and Cam are done with school, hooray! They are now both officially high school students. Carinne got gas for $3.89/gal and was excited about it (how awful is that). Current pinochle rankings are carinne&alex: 17  old parents: 13.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  You’re in a public bathroom (not a urinal, a stall). After you do your biznass, you realize there’s no toilet paper in your stall. You really need some. What do you do?

Family Member of the Week: Nate!

Nate’s favorite movie is, he doesn’t know, so cam answered “bambi” for him. His favorite class is math. For lunch today, he ate cottage cheese. The last time he showered was “sometime yesterday”. If he could be a pro athlete at any sport, he would be professional golfer.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Now I’m no better than your average homeless girl.

Someone sign me up for welfare.

College Class of 2008