my prom was seven years ago

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 3 Vol 12

Important Holidays: Memorial Day

Weather:   Hey- HEY! Keep that altocumulus cloud under control. Indecent exposure. It's just not the place for it. 

 

Urbandictionary word of the day (by MA): Dirxting

The act of dirty texting.

Editor’s note: I explained this was sexting! But I was told sexting is with pictures. I still disagree. But I’ll publish for the readers to decide.

Subscribe to the Weekly Dirxting! Standard messaging rates may apply!

Song of the Week: Hole, Celebrity Skin

Notable Accomplishments:  Lexy made the Jr High Cheerleading team, the Jr Varsity Football Cheer Team, and the Varsity Basketball Cheer Team. Carinne had to speak at her professional conference and it was a huge success. Carinne also reads a wine blog and won a book about wine. Send MM get well soon cards. Dad joined HYP. Del Sol is out of the shop again. Hines Ward won DWTS; unfortunately most of Pittsburgh didn’t see it due to a power outage. Newsletter Biggest Loser is DONE but the winner is still unknown!

Hypothetical Situation of the Week (by Gina):   So you’re helping a friend’s love life by peruzzing match.comwith them. As you’re looking you see someone who looks shockingly like your current boyfriend/girlfriend (note: you are NOT married)… a real doppelganger. Do you

a)      Ignore it. It’s coincidence.

b)      Confront them all gangsta rappa style (start throwing their stuff on your front lawn?)

c)      Create your own profile and attempt a scenario like “If you like Pina Coladas…”

d)      Other?

FWN Member of the Week: M²!

Mum Mum likes her hot dogs with onions and mustard. The shampoo she uses is in a green bottle and is fragrance free. Her middle name is Marlene and if she could pick a star to be on DWTS she would pick Matthew McConaughey.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: cabs are hea!  

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3

queen bee

Official Editor

Veterinarian de Mayo

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 3 Vol 11

Important Holidays:(supplied by BK): If you're feeling Canadian, eh, Victoria Day; Armed Forces Day

Weather:   (supplied by RE Jr.): The Honda del Sol has officially changed its name to Honda del Lluvia (Honda of the Rain) in protest of the current state of weather in Pittsburgh.  It has confirmed that if the rain ever stops, it's original name will return. 

Urbandictionary word of the day: (supplied by RE Jr.): Sh!ttles

When one is eating Skittles and they spill up one's dress, skirt, or trousers so when he/she stands, it will appear as if he/she sh!ts Skittles.

Are those M&Ms on the floor or are those sh!ttles from the Easter Bunny again? 

Song of the Week: Who'll Stop the Rain, by CCR

Notable Accomplishments: Lana survived her veterinarian's appointment with maximum whining, Alex successfully completed WVU Commencement, the entire family got drunk tailgating post-ceremony, Cam is job (waxing golf carts), Alex won fidy dollah for her senior thesis paper.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   (supplied by RE Jr.): As the world is ending tomorrow (Alex is bummed about it too; she finally graduated and has a job and NOW the world decides to end?), how will it happen?

FWN Member of the Week: Greggy! 

Greg's most recent purchase was Tommy Hilfiger sunglasses.  His favorite gum is Dentyne Ice, Peppermint flavor.  He is currently reading The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus.  If he were to be a professional athlete  (if he was equally talented at all sports and would make the same amount of money), he would be a baseball player.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Alex has a job waiting tables, now all she needs is customers.  Any takers?

Look for more next time from your regularly scheduled editor,

Barson 

Is intelligent AND employed.  Who knew?

Official Guest Editor

wild&wonderful

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 3 Vol 10

Important Holidays: Friday the 13^th, Alex’s Graduation

Weather:   They say the mountain hills are alive with the sounds of drunkards. For anyone heading to the WV Appalachians this weekend, not only will the hills be alive with drunkards, but weeping of parents proud of their young drunkards.    

Urbandictionary word of the day: Rendezbooze

Meeting with people to drink.

Some call this week a trip to see Alex at graduation; others call it a rendezbooze.

Song of the Week: La la la, Jay-Z

Notable Accomplishments:  Alex has finished undergrad and has a summer job. Cam has finished his first semester of college. Nicole did race for the cure. Carinne is currently winning the team BL competition (although Nicole remains unreported).

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Where would you rather live?

a)      Candyland’s Lollipop Woods

b)      Monopoly’s Baltic Avenue

c)      Battleship’s Submarine

d)      Clue’s Billiard Room

FWN Member of the Week: Barson!

Alex’s favorite non-major related class was her service learning class where she went to a local kindergarten glass for four hours a week. Her most recent alcoholic beverage was Shotfire Shiraz. If she had to pick a new mascot for WVU she would make them the Burning Couches, with the chant “YOUUU FIRE!” Lastly, if she was forced to pick a new major, she would pick PR/Comm.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: let’s GOOOO mountaineers Panthers?

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3

And the award goes to -

Official Editor

The Screw Cork Awards

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 3 Vol 9

Important Holidays: Das Mama Day

Weather:   When you see the lightning, you’ll start grooving; when you hear the thunder you’ll stop moving. Boom flash boom flash boom flash boom flash.   

Urbandictionary word of the day: Buysexual

Someone who gets turned on from buying things.

Tracy went to Lancaster for shopping last week; that’s a serious haul. She’s buysexual. At least UM saves gas on his tendencies – he is buysexual when it comes to Ebay.

Song of the Week: Me First & the Gimme Gimmes, The Phantom of the Opera

Notable Accomplishments:  Osama Bin Laden has been given Time Magazine’s cover with an X over his face, a cover only offered to three others before (including Hitler). Alex’s undergraduate classes are done! Carinne has completed her wine passport. Carinne also got cable. Cigarfest was an epic success, with a number of freebies that vastly outweighed the cost of the ticket. Additionally, cigarfest attendee count grew; old dudes gone wild is multiplying exponentially. Pittsburgh had one day of no rain in April.   

Hypothetical Situation of the Week (By RE Jr):   So, the wedding is over, the honeymoon has ended, now it’s time to open that glorious mountain of gifts. Since of course you were invited to the royal wedding, what did you buy as a gift?  

FWN Member of the Week: Cam!

Cam is not a mom, but as it is mother’s day weekend: if he were a mom, he would be named Clarice. His most recent meal was 2lbs of wings (gross). He can hold his breath for about a minute and his least favorite class this year was psych 101.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Newsletter Biggest Loser til Memorial Day? $5 buy-in, winner takes all, but you have to pay $1 for every lb gained. Weigh yourself this Monday Morning (May 9), then we’ll do every Friday until memorial day weekend. That gives you four weeks to get the bikini bod. Inquire within if interested!

Look for more next time,

Carinne

And the award goes to -

Official Editor