Thursday, October 30, 2008

foggily boggle

Family Weekly Newsletter
Issue 33 Vol 1
Special Early Edition due to traveling

Important Holidays: Nate's Birthday, election day, Mexico's all saint's day and day of the dead, daylight savings

Weather: Be prepared for an intense sugar high this weekend. Starting Friday, excitement and giddiness will roll through the area. By Sunday you will only see the horrific downturn as sugar withdrawal will cause mood swings and an uproar.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  deja moo

The feeling that you have heard this bull before.

Carinne: Trick or Treat!
Person at the door: Deja moo. How old are you? [pause] Oh, here have a beer.

Song of the week: The Monster Mash, Bobby Pickett

Notable Accomplishments: Carinne is officially registered to vote in NJ.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: Pick your poison: Trick or Treat? And describe your answer with the most possible detail.

FWN Member of the Week: Nate!

Despite multiple attempts, Nate did not respond to the e-mail requesting information. Multiple requests for him to check his e-mail were made… Nate if you read this: send out fun facts!

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds:  Carinne is coming home this weekend! Woohoo! This time tomorrow, she'll be on her way! Woohoo! Don't forget to vote! Don't forget to turn your clocks back!


Look for more next time,

Carinne
BOO!
Official Editor

Friday, October 24, 2008

it was a graveyard smash!

Family Weekly Newsletter
Issue 32 Vol 1

Important Holidays: United Nations Day, Nate's Birthday

Weather: If a Halloween party has a certain number of smashed pumpkins, allow this number to = p
            If a Halloween party has a certain number of smashed partiers, allow this number to = s
            The relationship between the two identifies the total number of smashed partiers at any given party is 2p^1.3 = s.
            This postulate, known as smashed postulate, will be proven on two occasions this weekend.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  haberdash

A bunch of bullshit; unsupported bullshit; a notion stated as fact.

A classic example of Haberdash is when Cam and Nate brag about being beer pong champs.

Song of the week: Cigarette, The Clarks

Notable Accomplishments: Count Dracula is on a diet; he has been refraining from blood sucking. Also, Lexy's candles are in early! Guitar Hero World Tour comes out in TWO days! Carinne carved a pumpkin; #2 in her lifetime. It's sweet. She also visited a Chinese Grocery Store, where they played the Rocky Theme Song twice in 20 minutes.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: Throughout your lifetime, what was your favorite Halloween costume (you personally had to be dressed up as it)?

FWN Member of the Week: Aunt Jul!!! Carinne forgot to ask for fun facts, so she has created some from recent e-mails from AJ.

According to Aunt Jul's Oreo forecast, she is a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant. She also believes she found the location of the blair witch project filming while doing community service two days ago. Aunt Jul is female, and she drives a car.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds:  Ron & Bev's Halloween party is tomorrow. Are you ready? Will YOU win best costume? Carinne's Halloween party is also the 25th (titled, "spooky sixty nine style", and they have a sweet pumpkin with a 69 carved into it). Let's see who can get more drunk and belligerent. Carinne is coming to Pittsburgh next Friday (10/31), so be ready with your beer pong game on. Also, celebrations for birthdays (nate, Carinne) will be done then.


Look for more next time,

Carinne
Oh yeah, it's candy corn season
Official Editor

Friday, October 17, 2008

kind of a lame issue, sorry guys, bizzee bizzee

Family Weekly Newsletter
Issue 31 Vol 1

Important Holidays: The 19th of October is coming up.

Weather: Upset stomach, indigestion, heartburn, nausea, diarrhea. YEAH PEPTO BISMOL!

Urbandictionary word of the day:  tinnies

Australian, n. cans; tins of beer.

If Carinne saved all of her tinnies, she could build a bunker in the road and live there and not have to pay rent. However, a tinnie house is unsafe during a thunderstorm, among other minor drawbacks.

Song of the week: Backstreet Boys, Everybody

Notable Accomplishments: Ron does not have type 2 diabetes. Carinne joined a gym. Cam has been inducted to the national honor society!

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: Would you rather only be able to speak in Ebonics or only be able to speak in Shakespeare?

 For example, where you'd usually say, "Those are some nice running shoes."
            Ebonics: "D*mn, b*tch! Give me them sneaks befo i blast yew!"
            Shakespeare: "Thoust divine specks on thine feet shineth with glory."

FWN Member of the Week: Carinne has put everyone's name into an excel spreadsheet and had the list randomized. You will all be FWNMOTW within a short period of time; however this week will be a hiatus while we're getting things set up. (She forgot to e-mail the person with enough notice).

So, be proud of yourself because WE'RE ALL FWNMOTW this week! Pat on the back! For your fun fact, if you respond to the HSOTW, also state what you ate for lunch today. Yum!

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds:  Ron & Bev's Halloween party is on the 25th. Be prepared!!!


Look for more next time,

Carinne
Oh yeah, it's candy corn season
Official Editor

Friday, October 10, 2008

peanuts, get your peanuts, salted!

Family Weekly Newsletter
Issue 30 Vol 1

Important Holidays: Columbus day, Canada's thanksgiving, it's national cigar month

Weather: The ghost of peer pong past©UM, all rights reserved will be present this evening throughout the nation… Cover your fridges and hide your beer.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  manicorn

A mythical male creature who is successful, funny, chivalrous, masculine, adventurous, artistic, does all of his household chores, and never forgets to call.

See any John Cusack film or any romantic comedy where the flawed guy comes through in the end...

"Where is my manicorn? I keep going out with all these losers!"

"Too bad I settled when I got married, I just met my manicorn."

Song of the week: Space Oddity, David Bowie (The Cat Power version in the new Lincoln car commercial is really cool but apparently it is not marketed as a single so that cannot be SOTW)

Notable Accomplishments: Michael still has hair.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: You're on death row. What's your last meal?

FWN Member of the Week: Cam!

Cam wants to be in SWAT when he grows up, and wants to drive a "suped up" 2003 Ferrari Enzo. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a fruit snack, grapes, apple sauce, a cookie, and chips for lunch. Cam rarely makes his bed, and today it is not made.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds:  Rita's in NJ, last day of being open is this Sunday. So fill up! Also on the travel channel, tonight they'll be filming a show live from Gettysburg.



Look for more next time,

Carinne
Oh yeah, it's candy corn season
Official Editor

Friday, October 3, 2008

I've got soul but i'm not a soldier

Family Weekly Newsletter
Issue 29 Vol 1

Important Holidays: Ron & Bev Anniversary

Weather: The cold nights will inspire residents in the east to bring out measures to keep in warmth. These include sweaters, jeans, slipper crocs, and vast amounts of booze.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  October Surprise

When, in a last minute effort to become re-elected, a political figure happens upon a bit of "lucky coincidence."

News from October 31: We found Osama!

Song of the week: Black Dog, Led Zeppelin

Notable Accomplishments: Lexy got attacked by a dog on Sunday.  Took a chunk out of her butt and scratched her up pretty good.  Her shorts and panties were shredded.  Spent 4 hours at the emergency room, but no shot and no stitches, just a bunch of bandages, ointments and antibiotics.  They said the stitches (would have only been 2-3, where the teeth marks were), would have raised the chance of infection.  The dog's owner is the woman who watches Lexy before and after school a few times a week for us.  Dog and Lexy were both up to date on their shots.  Lexy is fine and doing well, back in school.  The future of the dog, Jazz, is yet to be determined by the owners.

Mark is in the hospital; few details known on that. Send him well wishes.

Bev and Ron survived being in the 80 degree sunny weather in SavannahGeorgiaCam and Nate survived staying home without them.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: This one brought to you by UM. You are tied up and bound and forced to watch a video collection of one of the following:

1.       Every moment of your life from a Third Person's eye.
2.       Every dream you ever had while asleep, good and bad
3.       The results of every decision you didn't make (aka…the other road)

Which would you choose?

FWN Member of the Week: Ronno!

Ron's favorite shirt is either his long sleeved Steelers shirt or his WVU hoodie (cough cough favorite daughter Alex cough cough). His first job he made minimum wage of $1.75/hr. His favorite TV show of all time is CHEERS. For breakfast he ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with half a brownie.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds:  Nada



Look for more next time,

Carinne
Oh yeah, it's candy corn season
Official Editor