like crack with cinnamon

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 20 Vol 1 

Important Holidays:  Wedding Anniversary

Weather:  A party is in the vicinity for LV as Bev & Ron are leaving for vacation next week. A messy house and dirty dishes are expected to take over. A beer pong front will enter the living room and likely will be in place for the next week.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  double fisting

Holding two alcoholic beverages, one in each hand, so you can drink both.

Check out Carinne’s picture at the Pirate game to see some double fisting action!

Song of the week: Johnny Cash, Ring of Fire

Notable Accomplishments: As a recap for last week’s beer pong tourney, a few unexpected twists were thrown into the match. Future MILFs of America were knocked out in the first round, causing the big upset for the tournament. Team Sober turned out to be the surprise of the event as they did better than experts predicted. West Virginia pulled out the lead by defeating team Rocky and Rambo, Team Sober, and Drunk Old Men, gaining the cup. The cocky members of Rocky & Rambo aka MXC were thrown out of the tournament quickly, despite good gaming skills. The final Standings:

1.        West Virginia

2.       Drunk Old Men

3.       Real Pong Players of Genious

4.      Team Sober

5.       Future MILFs of America

6.      Rocky/Rambo/MXC

We’re all excited for next year’s tournament.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: You’re having a theme party. What’s the theme? (It’s not occurring around any holiday. Pretend it’s happening tonight.)

Family Member of the Week: Honorary FMotW, Ruby, Aunt Jul’s dog. Aunt Jul is a recent addition to the FWN subscription. By special application she has requested to be a recipient. Her request has been accepted.

Ruby died this week. She was twelve years old, and quite a wonderful dog. Born in North Carolina, and moved to PA, she was happy and lived a full life until the end. She will be greatly missed.

Thanks! (No claps, silent honor.)

Classifieds:  Carinne is still jobless. She is thinking of applying to the DM School of Professionally Sitting In Your Car All Day. In this program, she would learn such high quality skills as waxing her bald head, being the LV Lance Armstrong, hockering, going to bars and ordering water and not tipping, and other skills that a professional creeper needs.

Look for more next time,

Carinne 

Now I’m no better than your average homeless girl.

Someone sign me up for welfare.

College Class of 2008

Why So Serious?

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 19 Vol 1 

Important Holidays:  Nothing. The world is currently lame.

Weather: Slightly commando as carinne doesn’t have any clean underwear. Stop gagging, she’s just kidding. But seriously, it’s like, granny-panties-in-the-back-of-the-underwear-drawer status because of a lack of laundry being done.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  kickback

A get together consisting of close friends, partying, and drinking.

Man, Carinne’s kickback this weekend is going to be the bomb diggity.

Song of the week: Sibelius, Finlandia Op. 26

Notable Accomplishments: Carinne saw the opening of The Dark Knight at 1230am. She loved it.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: You get a boat. What do you name it?

Family Member of the Week: Carinne! It’s about time, sorry folks, just had to admit I’m awesome and get it over with.

Carinne is currently, in fact, wearing underwear (see the Weather section for more details). She will additionally answer three questions/fun facts that are sent in by readers. That is, if anyone has any questions.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds:  Be sure to think of your team name for the beer-pong tourney on Sat. Bev will trade Ron in for a great dane puppy.

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Now I’m no better than your average homeless girl.

Someone sign me up for welfare.

College Class of 2008

my new goal in life is to find a cure for the hangover... never drinking again

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 18 Vol 1 

Important Holidays:  Bev’s birthday, Cam’s Birthday, Mum mum’s birthday

Weather:  A front of old age is creeping in, coming on heavily at the beginning of the weekend. It’ll pass by mid week.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  self helpless

The condition of somebody that is unable to deal with life, usually found sitting around a neglected apartment with bad hair and bad outfit.

I saw Kenny at our high school reunion, he's still living with his parents and saving up for a camaro ...totally self helpless.

Song of the week: Garbage, Special

Notable Accomplishments: Carinne got a buy-one-get-one six pack of beer (meaning, the lady forgot to ring up one of the six packs. Greatest day ever). Cameron gets the Vera Bradley catalog. UM got a nose job. Lexy got braces.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: Which do you pick?

Glass #1 – instantly cures that miserable, worst ever hangover you have.

Glass #2 – allows you to do one task perfectly for the day. (for example, if you want to remodel your bathroom, you’ll get it done well.) remember though, you would be doing this task while miserably hungover.

If you drink both, you die. So don’t do that.

Family Member of the Week: Tom!!!!

Tom’s middle name is Richard. If he could be any character from any video game, he would be Crash Bandicoot. His favorite thing to listen to is the Clarks. He enjoys a hearty bowl of saltine crackers and milk.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds:  RSVP for Carinne’s graduation party.

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Now I’m no better than your average homeless girl.

Someone sign me up for welfare.

College Class of 2008

And the home of the brave

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 17 Vol 1 

Important Holidays:  Independence Day (USA), and wayyyy b-lated, Tracy’s birthday (lots of people at FWN have been fired lately for shoddy work… my sincerest, sincerest apologies for missing this)

Weather:  Don’t worry, that’s not gunshots you’re hearing, it’s completely safe explosives in colorful forms. Crack open a corona, give the kids some watermelon, and relax.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Alculate

To calculate how cost effective an alcoholic beverage is. Otherwise known as the cost per shot ratio.

Ben - I am so drunk off the two Fuzzy Navels I consumed in the last 10 hours.

Neal - I just alculated that you are a sober loser.

Song of the week: Star Spangled Banner, Jimi Hendrix Version

Notable Accomplishments: Carinne has a couple of phone interviews!!!

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: If you were in the Olympics for the sport/event of your choice, what would it be? (Winter sports is OK too)

Family Member of the Week: A long overdue, Tracy’s birthday, she is FMOTW. Again, I’m so sorry for being a crappy loser. I should clean toilets for this. (not that I’m volunteering…)

Tracy’s favorite drink at Starbucks is the caramel macchiato. Her favorite part of her vacation last week was seeing her family that she doesn’t get to hang out with much. Her first pet was a Doberman named Bandit. If she could meet any celebrity, it would be George Clooney.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds: This editor may be fired soon. Now taking applications for FWN Editor.

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Now I’m no better than your average homeless girl.

Someone sign me up for welfare.

College Class of 2008