Bad Hair Days Be Gone!!!

Family Weekly Newsletter 

Issue 12 Vol 1

Important Holidays:  Stanley Cup Playoffs Continue

Weather: Rainy with a touch of grouchy pants. Hopefully job offers are in the vicinity.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Early Nerd Special

Midnight showing on the day of release of a highly-anticipated film, typically of the science-fiction/fantasy genre.

"I'd like one adult ticket to the Early Nerd Special of 'Star Wars Episode 3'."

Song of the week: Summertime, Janis Joplin

Notable Accomplishments: Team Sober came in first place in family bocce last weekend. The losing teams were UM & Homeless kid that goes to random parties (formerly, team Married), and team Hat. Commentators Alex and Carinne have received commentating awards for being amazing.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  If Bud Light were to do a “Real Men of Genius” commercial based on you, what would your title be? (For example, past ones have been, Mr Egg Nog Inventor, Mr Way-Too-Proud of Texas Guy, Mr Moped Super-Upper) Bonus points if you write lyrics to the song they’d sing about you.

Family Member of the Week: Cameron!!!!

Cam’s favorite kind of dessert is chocolate pudding. If he had to re-do any movie as the lead actor, he’d be in The Matrix. Cam’s favorite breakfast is waffles. Cam’s dream vacation is (Nate answered for him, it is to the north pole, so he can meet santa) Haiti.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

Carinne 

Now I’m no better than your average homeless girl.

Someone sign me up for welfare.

College Class of 2008

Love Potion #9

Family Weekly Newsletter 

Issue 11 Vol 1

Important Holidays:  Memorial Day, Stanley Cup Games, Hospital Visits

Weather: Ladies and gents, it’s an American flag spandex shorts kind of event!!! A weekend of burgers and a front of beer is upcoming. The system is flooded with picnics and drunken hockey fans, be sure to bring out your face masks because it could get ugly. Review your evacuation plans in case of a riot.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  gullible

The only word that is not in the dictionary. Go look.

I swear, gullible is not there.

Song of the week: Coldplay, Violet Hill

Notable Accomplishments:  Special shout out to Alex for her phenomenal job with the newsletter last week. Alex has not only one, but two jobs. Nate won the Nate v Lexy wing eating competition, go Nate, pick on someone your own age next time? Just kidding. It’s alright, Carinne beat him in Pac-Man. Carinne’s tan lines are fading. Depression is ensuing.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  So let’s say you’re standing outside of your hotel room. It is 4am, you’re just back from the bar (did I mention you’d been drinking a lot? You’re not sure if those are car headlights on the horizon or if it’s dawn. What’s the difference, they’re both really bright lights). Inside the place where you insert your key to unlock the door is a little card that reads, “Privacy please.” Do you:

a)      Think that your room mates need privacy and sleep elsewhere (the hall? In the hammock by the outdoor pool?)

b)     Try for about half an hour and not understand why your key won’t go in the key hole, then go down to the front desk and tell them your key doesn’t work

c)      You rip the privacy sign out of the key hole, ignore it, and go in anyway, likely making a lot of noise

d)      Other???

Family Member of the Week: Poppy!!

Poppy’s favorite dessert is Coconut Crème Pie. His favorite movie is Somewhere In Time. When he played basketball in high school, his jersey was #9 (hey! Great things happen with that number!!) and he was captain all four years. His first real job was at Pullman Standard (what is that?).

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds: Carinne is looking for someone to clean out the garage for her… Always remember you are welcome to send in announcements at any point during the week for any section on the newsletter.

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Now I’m no better than your average homeless girl.

Someone sign me up for welfare.

College Class of 2008

insert creative newsletter title here

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 11 Vol 1
By guest editor Alex because of Carinne's vacation
Early edition because of those travelling tomorrow!



Important Holidays:  Carinne's graduation!!



Weather: Parties all throughout college.  Precipitation will be a mixture
of every and all alcohol, with a strong tear advisory.  So ladies, bring
your hankies!


Urbandictionary word of the day:  iPhone-a-friend



The act of using a regular cell phone to get information by calling
someone who is sitting at a computer and can surf the internet by proxy.

"We are hopelessly lost. I'll just use my iPhone-a-friend and my mom can
get us directions from Google Maps."
"When are you going to get a real iPhone, you cheap ass?"

Song of the week: Face Down, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus



Notable Accomplishments: Carinne is done lying on the beach getting a
tan for a week; she also gets to participate in the graduation ceremony
and a million other things this upcoming weekend.  Alex got a 4.0 spring
semester, but is still unemployed so GPA doesn't actually matter.



Hypothetical Situation of the Week: If you could have either a
beautiful, healthy large front lawn and a messy, unkempt, dirty interior
of the house or a beautiful interior to your house but your lawn and
outside of the house was overrun and a mess, which do you pick?



Family Member of the Week: Aunt Lynne! (I couldn't remember who has
been picked and who hasn't so she gets to go twice!)



Aunt Lynne has lived in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, and Indiana.
 Her favorite actor is Skrek. On her last vacation she went on a cruise
to San Juan, Dominican Republic, St. Tomas, and Haiti and her favorite
season is summer because it's vacation time!

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)



Classifieds: Alex apologizes for not being as creative as the usual
newsletters, or as colorful, my e-mail is pretty ghetto.


Look for more next time by the real FWN journalist, Carinne!

Smell those shrimp, they're beginning to boil

Family Weekly Newsletter 

Issue 10 Vol 1

Important Holidays:  Penguins Playoffs 

Weather:  Corona showers. Forecast of a Stanley cup.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Shituation

1.        A bad situation

2.       A dramatic, usually negative happening, resulting in utter shit in one’s life.

An awful shituation in Philadelphia was in when the Penguins jersey got placed on their Rocky Balboa statue.

Song of the week: Foo Fighters, The Pretender

Notable Accomplishments:  Lexy’s cheerleading team got 20^th place in worlds. That’s awesome. Getting invited was an honor within itself. Jessica leaves on the 17^th.  Penguins are going to win tonight. Lana is the happiest dog in the world because Alex is home. Last night was the wine-fest that the kids got Bev & Ron for Christmas. They had 300 wineries and Bev sampled 299 of them. Direct quote, 9pm: Ron (calls carinne): We’re having no fun. No fun at all. So much of no fun, your mother can’t even stand anymore.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  Door #1, 2, or 3?

Family Member of the Week: Michael!!!

The last thing michael drank was carlos rossi chardonnay out of a box, with hardees family box of fried chicken. If he had to listen to only one band from now until forever, it would be Green day. He hates lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and mushrooms. His favorite vaca was Disney as a kid and his honeymoon cruise as an adult.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds: Carinne needs someone to write the newsletter next week. To be sent out on Thursday. Contact her if you’re interested.

Carinne leaves at 7am tomorrow (Saturday) with no access to e-mail. Please don’t send forwarded messages because they will fill her inbox and close her account.

Any ideas on what I should get my room mates for a Graduation Gift?

Look for more next time,

Carinne

IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

College Class of 2008

Get it while it's Hot!!!

Family Weekly Newsletter 

Issue 9 Vol 1

Early addition b/c of those travelling tomorrow!

Important Holidays:  May Day, Children’s Day, Cinco de Mayo, P-chem exam fun day, Carinne’s last day of undergraduate classes (tomorrow… sad pants)

Weather: Bundle up and prepare for the long haul. Get some caffeine, some healthy snacks, and a pair of pants that you’ll sleep, eat, and live in for five days. Some febreeze is good to, because you know you won’t want to shower. It’s finals week.  

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Mexican Shower

A quick alternative to an actual shower, by applying enough cologne, deodorant, or perfume to cover up any funky smelling body odor.

Carinne has gone two weeks living off of nothing but beer and Mexican showers.

Song of the week: Frank Sinatra, “My Way”

Notable Accomplishments: Carinne got an Honorable Mention in a literary contest!!! Not bad for a chemistry major!!!  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  Would you rather win the $1mil lottery or be guaranteed to live until 90 (and have no health problems)?

Family Member of the Week: Lana!!!

NOBODY!!! Make out with me!!! Those are Lana’s favorite phrases. She loves to snuggle and to lick. She is always happy to see you, even if it means watching law and order for hours and hours. She likes to eat snow.  

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

Carinne

IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

College Class of 2008