Leapin' Lizards, Lords a' Leaping, and Leap Years

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 50 Vol 4

Important Holidays: Leap Day, Oscar Sunday

 

Weather:  It's perfect outside for some all-out Oscar brawling.  So don your ball gowns, tuxedos, spend hours getting your hair and make-up done, skip dinner, bring on the champagne, and put on your boxing gloves and prepare for some old-fashioned glamorous Hollywood hair-pulling fights.

Urbandictionary word of the day: (provided by MM) Malapoopism

An act or habit of misusing words ridiculously, esp. by the confusion of words that illustrate that you are full of cr@p.

 

 The RE Jr. Family has deemed the name "Pillow" (rather than Sasha, the name of MM's new puppy) for a dog a malapoopism of the word pillow.

Song of the Week: Bob Marley, War (No More Trouble)

Notable Accomplishments:  Sasha got her first bath and doctor's visit this week, Lexie visited her first Amish house, Alex got an awesome get well soon card signed by her students, Tom had cataract and retina surgeries and is recovering quite well.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:    February 29 occurs once every four years.  What new nationwide tradition are you making for Leap Day (ex: fireworks on July 4, parade on Thanksgiving, etc) to celebrate this occassion in style?  

FWN Member of the Week: Sasha!

Sasha's breakfast consisted of a doggie treat and water.  She weighs 2.5 pounds.  Between an extra tail or an extra leg, she would pick an extra tail because she wags hers all the time and two would show just how happy she always is.  Her favorite toy is a Lamb Chop toy.  Sasha would never leave the house without her blinged-out collar, which conveniently matches her mama's bling. 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: You can find 'malapoopism' shirts and mugs on the internet to commemorate this special edition.

Look for more next time,

MM and Barson

Special Guest Editors

Four Shots and Seven Beers Ago

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 49 Vol 4

Important Holidays: President’s Day, Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday

Weather:  Strut like you’re James Madison on Monday; chow like you’re Taft on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday make cuts like it’s the economy during the beginning of FDR’s term. Then play President Roulette to decide who you are on Thursday & Friday.

Urbandictionary word of the day: ESB

The definition of ESB is up for dispute. While it was stated it meant ‘Extra Special Bitter’ there was opposition; others felt this could not possibly stand for Extra Special Bitter. ESB, while used to describe a type of beer, has subsequently also been used to state a personality trait.

C: I’ll get the ESB.

UM: What does ESB stand for?
C: Extra special bitter.

UM: No it doesn’t.

C: Bartender, what does ESB stand for?

Bartender: Early Sunday Brunch.

C: Come on! It does not!

UM: Someone’s being a little extra special bitter right now, aren’t they?

Song of the Week: Presidents of the United States of America, Peaches

Notable Accomplishments:  The LV Family swimming era has ended as Nate had his last meet ever. MM will be picking up her newest addition to the family today; feel free to suggest names for the new pup.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:    Fill in the blanks:

Four ____ and Seven _____ Ago…

And feel free to pick a number from 1-44. The editor has a randomized list of presidents and you will get assigned one to appreciate/celebrate. Excel randomly assigned the editor Harry S. Truman; oddly enough she was randomly assigned him as well in fourth grade for a biography report. Cheers sir! Dewey did not win!  

FWN Member of the Week: Mark!

Mark takes his coffee black and strong. His favorite type of girl scout cookies are the Tagalongs. The first performance he ever saw live in concert was the Doobie Brothers opened by Boston when he was sixteen. Lastly, the US city he’s never been to but would like to go to is Charlotte Amalie in the U.S. Virgin Islands, although editor’s ruling, this doesn’t count because cell phone service does not extend there without additional charges, so this city does not qualify.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada   

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3

Appreciating our 33rd President

Official Editor

Vomapotamus Rex

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 48 Vol 4

Important Holidays: Valentine’s Day, UM/T Anniversary, and special shout out to AL/T’s anniversary, which was inadvertently left off last week.

Weather:  Vom-o-meters are going to be off the charts this weekend. It’s recommended to steer clear of the sappy, and unless you’re looking to purge your most recent meal, especially stay away from Barson and Greggy.

Urbandictionary word of the day: petri d0uche

Preliminary term: a d0uche is a jerk, arrogant guy. Petri d0uche is where a whole group of them congregate.

I mean, Miami is great for the weather and all, but you’ll never meet a guy there. It’s the petri d0uche capital of the United States.

Song of the Week: Haddaway, What is Love

Notable Accomplishments:  Welcome, Allie, to the newsletter! Nate celebrated his senior night last night. Alex is an assistant middle school soccer coach. Allie is a proud new aunt as of this Thursday, to Tyler. Alex’s car got new tires and a muffler.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:    How do you, ___ God of Love, work your magic?

a)      Cupid Arrows?

b)      Love Potion #9?

c)      Very well phrased, convincing fortunes in fortune cookies?

d)      Other?

FWN Member of the Week: Marco!

 The first job Marco ever has was as a laborer on a construction crew with a specialty in demolition. If forced to have an extra finger or toe he’d pick the toe because it’s easier to hide. Marco’s favorite phrase on the sweetheart candy hearts is ‘play time’, but if he could write one it would say ‘I love me some me’. Lastly, for breakfast this morning he had four glasses of water and snot that he ‘keeps sucking down his gullet from this [darn] cold’ (Yum!), but for the record breakfast is typically the low fat yogurt fruit smoothie that Heather makes.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Find your sweetheart pet-name at this generator http://www.quizmeme.com/petname/quiz.php or for a slightly offensive, possibly inappropriate one go here: http://gangstaname.com/names/pet

Look for more next time,

Fuzzy Bunny aka Chunky Cha Chas

waffle wonderland

Official Editor

FeBREWary

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 47 Vol 4

Important Holidays: Allie’s Birthday, The Superbowl

Weather:  In an unfortunate series of events the FWN recruiters hired an astrologist instead of a meteorologist. Therefore your forecast includes Jupiter leaving your system early this week, causing some unjustified moodiness. Beware of Neptune, it will bring you extra cash towards Jerzday, but don’t spend it in a frenzy.

Urbandictionary word of the day: Jerzday

The day after Wednesday. It is the weekly observance of the state of New Jersey.

Well the week starts off with Mundy, continues with Tuezzday, followed by Winesday, and then Jerzday. Don’t bother me on Jerzday, my fake nails are too big so I can’t text. Plus, I’ll be spending most of my time with a bottle of hairspray.

Song of the Week: Baby Don’t Forget My Number, Milli Vanilli

Notable Accomplishments:  Nate has another college acceptance letter! Cam’s homebrew is now ready to drink.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:    If you were to have your own brewery, what would you name it? If you already brew your own beer/soda, assume you have to brew again under another name.

FWN Member of the Week: Allie!

Allie was originally going to be named Julie, but her parents were watching a TV show just before her birth and liked the name Allison. Her favorite letter of the alphabet is Z, and if she had to dye her hair an unnatural color it would be dark pink. Lastly a US city she’s never been to but would like to visit is Vegas.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada   

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3

waffle wonderland

Official Editor