Family Weekly Newsletter
Subscription Inquiries Office
In order to become a subscriber to the newsletter, several questions must be asked. These questions are not intended to be invasive or insidious; they are simply our screening process. We do not want crack heads or other creepers added to our list; we have enough of those already.
- Do you have any prejudices, bad experiences, or a current/former relationship with anyone with our surname? Yes / No
- If yes, please explain.
- What is your dream profession?
- In one sentence, describe your lunch today.
- Do you find yourself proficient in figuring out acronyms (such experience is necessary to determine the meaning of FWN, FMOTW, UM&T… Training courses can be provided if necessary by a Ms. Bev K.)? Yes / No
- In regards to question #5, would you be willing/able to be trained if necessary?
- Lastly, but most importantly, are you certain you are able to handle the number of e-mails sent back and forth, typically in discussion of the Hypothetical Situation? If you are doubtful about this, perhaps the illegal forwarding of this message from a Ms. BK is a better option.
By signing (responding) to this agreement, you affirm that you will treat the newsletter with respect, other than writing letters of complaint to the editor and arguing with other subscribers on hypothetical situations of the week. Subscriptions can be terminated upon request (please allow six-eight weeks for this to process).
Thank you for your time. Your application will be reviewed and you will know by the end of the week if you have been accepted (if you receive the newsletter in your inbox, you have been accepted).
