The Science behind the Stink Bug

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 29 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Nada

Weather:  Getting bug bitten on your biceps will cause you to swell up, giving you bulkiness that  attracts women due to your muscle size, however doctors still recommend diet & exercise as the healthiest option when trying to make yourself look like The Situation.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  eau d’ouche

Editor’s note: I’m not sure if the term d-bag (abbreviated) was used “back in the day” but it is an insult. It means a jerk, a-hole, etc. I’ve heard it only exclusively toward men.

The air a d-bag brings in as he enters a scene.  

Dale: I hate that Andy Reid. Trying to make Vick #1? But is using the same number as Roethlisberger? Wannabe. And bartender, my drink has too much ice. A little less next time please? Oh honey- your skirt is too short. Cover up!

Cam: Wearing that eau d’ouche a bit strong tonight, aren’t we?

Song of the Week: Under Pressure, The Used & My Chemical Romance

Notable Accomplishments: Nate and RE Jr. survived the golf tournament last weekend. The MD wine festival was enjoyed by all. WVU won last weekend.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   You’re a radio DJ. What’s your name? You can also be a talk show, like Delilah after Dark.  

FWN Member of the Week: Heather!

Heather didn’t reply to the questionnaire, will catch her next time!!

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

Countess de la Riffraff

Official Editor

conquering sushi one grain of rice at a time

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 28 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Fall Begins

Weather:  If you think you’re going to be caught in a rainstorm, you probably will. If you see sunny skies, that’s what will hit you. It’s all in your outlook.  

Brews, Loose Screws, Cigars & Wine (Brought to you by Field reporter RE JR): 

Kecksburg, PA is having thier annual UFO Festival this weekend.  It commemorates a Dec. 9, 1965 incident where there was a sighting.  Some observers claim the military came and took an object and the files have been sealed by the government.  Schedule of events include: parade, UFO dog eating contest, lecture by a UFO expert (also a big foot expert) and a burn out contest (????) among others. FWN is now taking applications to cover this event live; incentives include BFRO membership.   In competition with UFO Fest, Octoberfest celebrations kickoff bigtime this weekend with some really great brews in Pittsburgh. Penn Brewery Octoberfest won 3rd place in a competition, and I concur, it is one of the best.  But lots of good Octoberfest brews out right now. Cigar of the week is:  Carlos Torano Fortress - 6" by 60 ring guage (yes ladies it’s the big one) packed with power.  Smooth but assertive, just the way you like it!

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Moonbathing

Being outside at night, basking in the moonlight. Sunbathing during the lunar hours.

With the addition of the hot tub and the lessening of daylight, LV Parks spend a lot of time moonbathing.

Song of the Week: Kansas, Carry On Wayward Son

Notable Accomplishments: Nate and RE Jr. have a golf tournament this weekend in Williamsport. Carinne has been made chair of a committee for her society.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   What board game would you like to compete in in a real life competition? Not as a board, but as if it were a real-life obstacle. For example if you pick Battleship maybe you’re sinking sea carriers out in the Atlantic. If you pick Chutes and Ladders, expect some slip n’ slides and a hefty workout.

FWN Member of the Week: Mark!

If Mark had to give up a sense, he’d pick the sense of smell because half of them are bad anyway and he’d eat less. His superhero power of choice is X-Ray. His mascot was the Mighty Dragons. Lastly, the most recent meal he had (and this questionnaire is ~2wks old) was spinach dip with toasted baguette slices.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Now marketing CP’s Poor Girl Pumpkin Ale…  Barson is looking for a full time job for after college…

Look for more next time,

C. Paige 

Countess de la Riffraff

Official Editor

you all are a bunch of drunkin' sailors!*

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 27 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Poppy Birthday

Weather:  Chances are you learned the hard way this week that most hot tubs are not, in fact, time machines.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Brodak Moment

A perfect picture with only the guys.

At last weekend’s flip cup match we snagged a picture of team man during their Brodak Moment, plus MM.

Song of the Week: LFO, Summer Girls

Notable Accomplishments: Nicole got served lunch by Polamalu. Team Man won many flip cup games last weekend. The hot tub is fixed. Cam passed his chemistry test so missing the first semester won’t hinder his ability to be on schedule. UM/T/Lexy have survived their cruise. Carinne won game #1 on her football pool; only fifteen more to go. Mark, UM and RE Jr are on the front page of Cigars International website.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Unfortunately money doesn’t grow on trees, however assuming you had a magic tree in your backyard, what food would grow on it?

Ex., I’m gonna go pick me a peck of McDonald’s French fries!

FWN Member of the Week: Poppy!

Poppy’s favorite season is football season. Dinner last night consisted of corn, chicken pasta dish, and a roll. The first pet he ever had was Missy who was a mutt. Lastly, his first job was in high school at the ball farm (what on earth do they make there?).

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Cotton Candy. Get your Cotton Candy here.

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

Countess de la Riffraff

Official Editor

*subject brought to you by RE Jr., All rights reserved.

ribfest, jagerfest... (insert your)fest... t-rexfest...

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 26 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Labor Day

Weather:  Sometimes you throw your line in the pond and you pull out a boot. Sometimes you throw your line in the pond and find an underground mermaid bar! Therefore a case of Keystone light and a fishing pole is in your forecast as you fish for treasures.

 

Urbandictionary word of the day:  nomonym

Eating something that tastes like something else.

Nate: Hmm.. This meatball is chewy... There's some weird yellow stuff in it... That's dill... Mum! This isn't homemade spaghetti and meatballs, it's leftover meatloaf from yesterday! I know I was having a nomonym.

Song of the Week: Cee Lo, F^*k You

Notable Accomplishments: Carinne has a tomato fairy godmother. BK joined the work softball team. Alex picked a fight against flags in West Virginia and lost. Alex's birthday has now been officially overshadowed by the birth of the hot tub, which has been successfully installed. UM/T/L's cruise may be impacted by the hurricane. Carinne stopped traffic on the north shore today.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Traditionall triumphant entrances are made by riding in to town on a valiant horse. Hypothetically horses are endangered- what do you instead lasso and ride in on? Nothing is excluded, mythical or real.

FWN Member of the Week: The House on McLane Ave

The House on McL Ave has tile on its porch that resembles something very offensive but actually means love and hope. It has a giant couch and beanbag that are great for guests to sleep on, not for burning. Mutt's is a fine establishment within walking distance from the house. Lastly, the house is occupied by five girls who like pina coladas.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: hop hizzle hop hop

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

Countess de la Riffraff

Official Editor