Don't Grow Up; It's a Trap

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 15 Vol 5

Editor’s Note: Beginning the week of July 9, the newsletter will be published from a new city! Our offices and HQ are relocating!

Important Holidays: Gina’s Birthday, Tracy’s Birthday

Weather:  35 days until the Olympics. Start jogging now, and you won’t feel quite so bad when someone runs a mile in under four minutes, and you can’t even stop running your mouth for under five. Blah blah blah blah blah.

Urbandictionary word of the day (by AL): Stupidhead

A resident of Stupidtown, which is the official name of UM, RE Jr, and AL’s childhood town.

Nate: High School, class of 2012.

Alex: College, class of 2011.

AL: Stupidtown, top of the class.

Song of the Week: Reptar, Sebastian

Notable Accomplishments:  Alex finished her final grad school assignment and is henceforth on summer vacation.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:    Inspired by recent events:

Celebrity Death Match: Your shoulder angels, the good one vs the bad one. Who wins?

Please note, this is not for your conscience. So while in real life, if you see someone who needs help, maybe you’d assume your good angel wins. Or if a cashier rings something up incorrectly and you don’t say anything, your bad one wins. This is completely unrelated to anything with any sort of moral consequence.

FWN Member of the Week: Tracy!      

The US city Tracy has never been to and would like to visit is Albuquerque. If she had to give up one of her senses it would be smell. Strawberry is Tracy’s favorite ice cream flavor, and today she is wearing black wedges.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds:  July will be a guest-editor series. If you are looking to fulfill a lifelong dream of editorship, feel free!

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3

burgh or bust

Official Editor