Friday, April 6, 2012

Baberaham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer


FamilWeeklNewsletter
Issue 5 Vol 5

Important Holidays: Good Friday, Easter

Weather:  Similar to a man becoming a werewolf on full moons, when there is a Friday the 13th in April you may notice a slight change in your appearance. This phenomenon is not known as April Fools but instead is April Ghouls. This April is extra special as not only is there a Friday the 13th, but also an Easter. And what happens at Easter, peeps? PEEPS happen. If you’re not careful you may transform into a marshmallow filled sugar crusted bunny. Although you’d be a life sized one, roaming the streets. It’s practically a real life arcade game challenge to see how many people will upload photos of you in your peep state before you get ghost busted.

Urbandictionary word of the day: Phone Yawn

Similar to how yawns are contagious; a phone yawn is when one person pulls out their cell phone starting a chain reaction of multiple others pulling out their cell phones.

Alex pulled out her phone to check a text from Greggy. Carinne paused and without realizing it, continued the phone yawn to play another 55-point word against MM in scrabble. Cam would have been on the trend, but he decided to take a stand against technology so he pulled out a pad and pen to hand-write a 160-character message to Jordan and send it through the post office (Jordan’s mailbox is crammed with small notes that are irrelevant 48 hours later, such as ‘hey meet me for lunch in ten minutes’, but on the bright side Cam has single handedly recovered the Post Office’s budget deficiency). Nate, not to be outdone by his archenemy Cam, pulled out a chisel and stone, and there was much Geico rejoicing.

Song of the Week: “Christ the Lord is Risen Today,” sung by various congregations around the globe

Notable Accomplishments:  Lexy was selected to Varsity Football and Basketball cheer and alternate for the Varsity competition team. Lana and Sasha have met and will soon be facebook friends. The LV Family swimming career is over (so they think).

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:    Three years ago the overwhelming majority was that cupid would beat the easter bunny in a celebrity deathmatch.

Maybe we need to drop EB down to the minor leagues. In this match, it’s Easter Bunny vs. Elmer Fudd (I'm hunting waaabits)
 
FWN Member of the Week: BK!!!  

The newsletter would like to thank Ms. BK for her continued contributions to the Notables.

If forced to dye her hair an unnatural color, Mum would dye it green. Her household chore when she was a kid was to pick strawberries (that’s a chore? It’s seasonal! Did you pick your azz the other ten months of the year?) and her favorite flowers are tulips. Lastly, when ordering a beverage (alcoholic or non) she prefers them in bottles, if no bottles then can, and if no can she will finally settle on draught.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada  

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3
Halloween in April. April Ghouls.
Official Editor

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