And the home of the brave

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 17 Vol 1 

Important Holidays:  Independence Day (USA), and wayyyy b-lated, Tracy’s birthday (lots of people at FWN have been fired lately for shoddy work… my sincerest, sincerest apologies for missing this)

Weather:  Don’t worry, that’s not gunshots you’re hearing, it’s completely safe explosives in colorful forms. Crack open a corona, give the kids some watermelon, and relax.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Alculate

To calculate how cost effective an alcoholic beverage is. Otherwise known as the cost per shot ratio.

Ben - I am so drunk off the two Fuzzy Navels I consumed in the last 10 hours.

Neal - I just alculated that you are a sober loser.

Song of the week: Star Spangled Banner, Jimi Hendrix Version

Notable Accomplishments: Carinne has a couple of phone interviews!!!

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: If you were in the Olympics for the sport/event of your choice, what would it be? (Winter sports is OK too)

Family Member of the Week: A long overdue, Tracy’s birthday, she is FMOTW. Again, I’m so sorry for being a crappy loser. I should clean toilets for this. (not that I’m volunteering…)

Tracy’s favorite drink at Starbucks is the caramel macchiato. Her favorite part of her vacation last week was seeing her family that she doesn’t get to hang out with much. Her first pet was a Doberman named Bandit. If she could meet any celebrity, it would be George Clooney.

Thanks! (clapclapclapclapclap)

Classifieds: This editor may be fired soon. Now taking applications for FWN Editor.

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Now I’m no better than your average homeless girl.

Someone sign me up for welfare.

College Class of 2008