Newsletter Ghost

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 34Vol 4

 

Important Holidays: As RE Jr has mentioned multiple times today: it is King Tut Day, Daylight Savings Time, Election Day, The Very Best Birthday of the Entire Year

 

Weather (By UM):   Budlight Savings Time ends..... Or does it?  The one time each year you can extend closing time by one hour and, in some instances of slower bartenders, repeat last call two or three times before they catch on.

 

Urbandictionary word of the day: Freddy Cougar

 

The old chick who wears a skanky Halloween costume.

 

Your mom was giving out candy while dressed like a Freddy Cougar. Halloween keeps on giving this year -  I'm still having nightmares about that.

 

Song of the Week: Men Without Hats, The Safety Dance

 

Notable Accomplishments:  First snowfall of the year occurred last week. RE Jr + his titanium hip successfully made it through airport security. Carinne received a medicare advertisement. Nate did very well at HH trivia.    

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

FWN Member of the Week: Auntius Julius!   

 

For the second week in a row we've struck out on MOTW. AJ had not responded to the questionnaire. We'll learn more about her next time!

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: Nada

 

Look for more next time,

 

c@r!nn3

at the "scary" age

Official Editor

It's the Ghost Wonderful Time of the Fear

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 33Vol 4

 

Important Holidays: Nate's Birthday, Halloween

 

Weather:   The stars have aligned with the dopplar radar to put you in the position to be working the graveyard shift on Halloween. It's advisable to carry extra garlic or you may find yourself perpetually stuck in a Transylvania Twist.      

 

Urbandictionary word of the day: Sanguivore

 

Almost sounds like a wine, doesn't it? But no, unless your wine is platelet-rich… Literally, something that ingests blood as sustenance to survive. Ie, a vampire, mosquito, leech, etc.

 

Count Bev: Vat are you dooing?

Count AJ: I am drinking!

Count Bev: Vat are you drinking?

Count AJ: Natural Blud Laight, a ha ha. Vegetarian blud, heart healthy.

Count Bev: I see them! I vill count them! Van, tvu, tree, a ha ha.

Count AJ: Cheers, fellow Sanguivore.

 

Song of the Week: Alice Cooper "Feed My Frankenstein"

 

Notable Accomplishments:  Hanover's Oven won Appliance Survivor this week as both their fridge and microwave were voted off in a double elimination.    

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   [Dracula voice] vat are you drinking?

 

a)      A Bubbling brew of Toil and Trouble from the Witches' Cauldron

b)      Mad Scientist Milk

c)      Werewolf Water

d)      Boogieman's Brainjuice Beverage

 

FWN Member of the Week: Mr. Etan Krap himself!  

 

Mr. Krap has not responded to the questionnaire. Better luck next time!

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: Nada

 

Look for more next time,

 

c@r!nn3

Lite-Brite

Official Editor

Eat them up, Yum!

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 32 Vol 4

 

Important Holidays: Marco's Birthday, Barry's Birthday

 

Weather:   Although it's not a full moon in the sky, it will be in your backyard after indoor toilets go on strike internationally. You should up their hourly salary.     

 

Cigar of the Week (Brought to you by MA): Pinar Del Rio Seleccion Limitada – A dark, toothy, Habano, Maduro wrapper, 6x60 super toro finished with a pig tail head. Heavy in hand and stuffed with premium Nicaraguan and Dominican long filler covered in a Criollo binder….yummy. Lights perfect, burns straight, flavors of coffee, chocolate, nuts, and cream with a long finish that is peppery sweet.  Smokes for 60 to 90 minutes…slow and deliberate…Fantastic smoke…got a box on Cigar Bid for $46….stealing….highly recommended!!!!

 

Urbandictionary word of the day: Mullet Over

 

When someone with a mullet ponders over what great beer to buy next.

 

"Hmmm. Keystone or Busch in camo cans, Keystone or Busch. Hey bartender – any specials tonight? I'm mulleting over this decision here and need some input…"

 

Song of the Week (by AL): Footloose, Kenny Loggins

 

Notable Accomplishments:  UM/T have acquired a very large cigar humidor that seems to have ominous similarities in circumstance to the Christmas Story's leg lamp. Nicole had a successful Willow House party. BK saved $10/month on the Verizon bill. RE Jr was honest and returned lights that were not sent to him by mistake (way good kharma). Tom's Facebook is back up and running after a disaster. Carinne learned jet lag is great for starting a morning workout routine.  

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   You are in an international dance competition. What song are you competing to?

 

a) Monster Mash

b) Crank That (Soulja Boy)

c) Chicken Dance

d) Jump On It

e) YMCA

f) Time Warp

 

FWN Member of the Week: Marco!  

 

Happy Birthday, Draftermorning, and Drafternoon to Marco!

 

Marco's favorite dessert is Jack Daniel's Honey with Ginger Ale. When he played soccer he was #9 (editor's note: only the greatest number ever). His first job ever was part of a demo crew for a construction company. Lastly, if Marco were to re-do any movie as the lead actor he'd be Russell Crowe in Gladiator.

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: Nada

 

Look for more next time,

 

c@r!nn3

Sprechen Sie Englisch?

Official Editor

Champ de Mars

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 31 Vol 4

 

Important Holidays: Nada

 

Weather:   To cure jet lag, time it so you can drink for 12 hours solid. Afterward, you will certainly pass out for 8 hours and voila – you're back on the time zone you desire.     

 

Urbandictionary word of the day: Diarrhea of the Mouse

 

Uncontrollable rambling via internet – email, blog, newsletter, facebook, etc.

 

After Carinne sends out the newsletter, UM posts the HSOTW on facebook, Tracy likes it as she's checking in to Starbucks, and MM comments on it six times. Then Alex uses the word-of-the-week in her status, RE Jr shares that with all of his friends, and MM again comments six times. That fam and their diarrhea of the mouse…

 

Song of the Week: I'm Your Boogie Man, K.C. and the Sunshine Band

 

Notable Accomplishments:  Uncle Michael got a new car. UM's losing streak towards Pittsburgh sports teams has ended. RE Jr will be returning to work 8 ½ weeks early. C and JLo survived Eurotour including a $50 pizza, $10 wine on the Mediterranean, a French train strike, several encounters with Casanovas, and a trick phrasebook (the editor can now ask a French person if they want to hear me belch).

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   What non-traditional pet would you get and what would you name it? No dogs, cats, goldfish, etc. You can also assume that if it is a wild animal it would not harm you (ex, meet Hannah my Hyena).

 

FWN Member of the Week: Dr. Ali  

 

The most recent TV show Ali watched was Revenge on ABC. Ali got her name because her Dad loves the Elvis Costello song Alison, and her mom's boss has a daughter with the same name. If Ali had to dye her hair an unnatural color it would be purple because she thinks it'd look good. Lastly, if she had to cater an event with fast food it would be from Wendy's.

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: C is looking for a big chalkboard, if anyone sees one lying around or at a yard sale. 2'x2' or larger.

 

Look for more next time,

 

c@r!nn3

Sprechen Sie Englisch?

Official Editor

blue skies and brewskis

Welcome to the FWN (Guest Editor Edition)

Font of the week:  Goody Stout.  Since the guest editor likes Brewski's and stout.

Important Holidays:  dr ali's birthday.  Also, today is Bald and free day, 10/9 is moldy cheese day and 10/12 is moment of frustration day

Weather:  Do you see a cloud?  If so, you drank too much last night.  Beautiful skies lead to nice cool fall nights for drinking, sound sleeping and friskiness (ever wonder why there are so many July birthdays?)

Urban dictionary word of the week: Taco Johns – The unfortunate result of eating Mexican food.

Nate:  do you want to go to taco bell for dinner

Cam:  no thanks, I don't feel like getting the taco johns tonight.

Song of the week:  The coconut song (Put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up), By Harry Nilsson

Notable Accomplishments:  Alex got observed while teaching the last two days and kicked butt (alex's words).  Lana broke her second screen door in as many weeks.  RE is now hot tub approved.  The regular editor is enjoying a vacation in Europe and is attracting strange females as new bff's (she gets this from her mother).  Nate got outstanding standardized test scores.  Cam still has a girlfriend after meeting the clan last Saturday.

Hypothetical Situation of the week:  this week is October cage match (who wins and why)

Pumpkin jack

Pumpkin pie

Pumpkin ale

The great pumpkin (charlie brown)

fwn member of the week:  The hot tub(translated by re)

The hot tub says that its worst moment was when it was filled with mud from grubby children.  Its happiest moment was when it was first installed and finally had power.  Hot tub says that its favorite seat is the one with the neck massager because it makes the most noise.  Hot tub says that if it had to change anything about itself, it would install a tv and stereo.

Thanks (crap crap crap)

Jeckel/hyde 

Meanwhile, back in [your name]town

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 29Vol 4

 

Important Holidays: RE Jr/BK Anniversary

 

Weather:   This week's forecast comes with French fries, French toast, Swiss Miss hot chocolate, and a side of kraut. 20% off if you're in lederhosen.    

 

Urbandictionary word of the day: Engayed

 

Term for when gay couples become engaged or planning to get married.

 

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie refuse to get married until everyone can, ie, everyone can get engayed and ultimately married.

 

Song of the Week: Suckers, It Gets Your Body Moving

 

Notable Accomplishments:  Cam pledged a fraternity and got promoted to a Specialist in the military. RE Jr is doing great with his new hip – he was out of the hospital early and is already back on the brew horse. Gina's son Ryan got his first shiner due to a gym class collision. Gina's notable un-accomplisment of the week was drinking a bottle of wine while watching Jersey Shore. Greggy is going through multiple interviews.

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Using your initials (either first and last name or all three initials), come up with a pro-sports team for a city. It should be a real city, but the sports team can be made up or, if you're lazy, real.

 

For example DL = Detroit Lions (lazy)

Or

DL = Dallas Leggings – women's dance team. 

 

FWN Member of the Week: Brandi!!!  

 

Brandi's middle name is Rene. As a kid, she loved being a witch for Halloween because her mom has a mole on her face (not on her nose) and when she dressed up like a witch she could have a mole just like her. In high school her favorite class was chemistry (!!!) because all of her friends were in the same class, her teacher talked like Ben Stein, and they spent the period imitating him (and reportedly, Brandi has a very disruptive laugh according to Mr. Chem Teacher). If she had to dye her hair an unnatural color it would be navy blue because she loves her hair when it's very dark and the blue gives it a nice shine.

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: Next week please forward all notable accomplishments to BK. C is looking for a big chalkboard, if anyone sees one lying around or at a yard sale. 2'x2' or larger.

 

Look for more next time,

 

c@r!nn3

grape expectations

Official Editor

the frizz

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 28Vol 4

 

Important Holidays: First Day of Fall

 

Weather:   Let's check out the extended forecast. As we can see from the Doppler Radar beer showers are imminent along with bolts of Goldschlager in southern regions. Out west a doozy is brewing as Hurricane Hot Tub will hit with a vengeance.

 

Urbandictionary word of the day: Spending Amnesia

 

Trying to recall where you spent all of your money. Can be alcohol-induced.

 

UM: (doing bills) You spent $72 at Starbucks?!

Tracy: I did? Let me check the number of times I checked in there last month. But hey mister look below – you spent $200 at the Moose? Their beers are fifty cents!

UM: HMM… I'll have to check my facebook statuses to see what that night was all about… March 3^rd ehh… Looks like a case of spending amnesia. Must be contagious.  

Tracy: Yeah. I'll call the doctor.

 

Song of the Week: Breathe, Faith Hill

 

Notable Accomplishments:  Send RE Jr get well cards (or get well stogies) as he had a hip replacement. He is making great strides and hopes to be home earlier than expected. Lexy's cheer team won the competition at the game last weekend. Maryland Wine Festival was another raging success even though the raging rapids hit with torrential downpours during the event.   

 

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Would you rather have to walk into the bathroom of the opposite gender OR dress up like the opposite gender? Please note both circumstances would occur in public.

 

FWN Member of the Week: Tim!  

 

Tim's mile running speed varies depending on who is chasing him, but on average it's about 10 minutes. His dream car is an Aston Martin. The first person he ever saw live in concert was Van Halen at their Live Right Now tour. Lastly, if he could be a guest on any TV show he'd pick Man vs Food because he's very hungry right now and enjoys eating a lot.

 

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

 

Classifieds: Hangover Helper, now available in Minty Morning flavor. A greasy addition to make your hangovers go away. Buy in the next twelve seconds to get an additional box FREE! Just pay s&h.

 

Look for more next time,

 

c@r!nn3

grape expectations

Official Editor