snewzers

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 52 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Fat Tuesday [mardi gras!]

Weather:   This editor just learned 2011 is the International Year of Chemistry. Why this was not announced previously is unknown. As a result, a whirlwind of catalytic hangovers will take place this weekend as energy from both mardi gras and chemistry combine forces.

Urbandictionary word of the day: mardi grass

                                                            

An herb used during the celebration of mardi gras.

Martha Stewart: For a festive twist to your Fat Tuesday party, add the mardi grass herb to the brownies.

Song of the Week: Macy Gray, I Try

Notable Accomplishments:  UM scored big on wine at the state stores; please contact him for tasting times. Cam got a fish, the fish has since moved on to a better world. Nate has an upcoming interview. Nicole did really epically great at bowling (158). Carinne won an award that will financially support her ability to go to Texas for a conference.    

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Which of these is the main character of your upcoming novel?

a)      A gentleman who cannot get out of New Orleans due to too much Mardi Grass

b)      She who sells sea shells by the sea shore

c)      Mr. Spandex Pants who also carrys a magnifying glass in a gun holster

d)      Stacy

FWN Member of the Week: Nate!  

Nate sits next to JT at lunch. His dream car is the ‘back to the future’ car, which Nate reports is “made by GMC and they are going to start making that car again.” Nate’s most recent text message, be it sent or received, states “sorry I couldn’t read those big words. Max of 2 letters per word please.” Lastly, if Nate were to have a chugging contest the liquid would be chocolate milk.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Fat Tuesday? Slim Wednesday! Give up chocolate for 40 days!  

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

carinnie mouse

Official Editor of FWN

Lunge! Lunge! Lunge!

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 51 Vol 3

A bit haphazard but the power is going to go out here any second. Everything is flickering. I apologize for any editorial errors!!!

Important Holidays: Nada, but the WN inadvertently did not mention R Jr’s ’50 days until 50’ which was yesterday. Cheers!

Weather:   According to Mr. Groundhog, winter ends this week. So strap on those sneakers, folks, and get to the gym for some spring training. Easter comes late and it’s ultimate egg hunts this year: go gold or go home.  

Urbandictionary word of the day: Cerebral Bulimia

                                                            

Binging and purging of the brain. Can be used as an excuse for not remembering someone’s name.

Bev: So, Alex is coming home this weekend but Cam has to work.

Ron: Who?

Bev: Alex and Cam.

Ron: Who?

Bev: Your children – Alex and Cam.

Ron: Oh- well Cam is vaguely familiar but Alex is unknown. It’s weird, ever since I got the hot tub all I can seem to remember is the hot tub. The hot tub resides at Loire. The hot tub’s birthday is in August. Cerebral bulimia I guess.  

Song of the Week: Vesuvius, Frank Ticheli

Notable Accomplishments:  R Jr saw a space shuttle launch in Florida this week.   

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   If you want to do this as a Mad-Lib, you can, but you don’t have to. Just think of a place/location, then fill in the blank.

You click your heels three times. “There’s no place like ____________.”

FWN Member of the Week: Mark!  

If Mark had to paint his toenails he'd paint them blue. His dream car is a generic convertible sedan, specifically a BMW or Mercedes with the wind in his hair. As a kid, his nickname was 'Hammer' either due to hitting people hard in football, or being hard headed (or those fashionable pants worn during hamma-time? hmmm??). If he were stuck on a desert island with one plug he'd bring a power strip and a whole slew of appliances (laptop, mp3 station, fridge, wine fridge, big screen TV, deep fryer, coffee pot...).

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: C’s Rita’s is open!

Look for more next time,

C. Paige 

carinnie mouse

Official Editor of FWN

Graphight

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 50 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Talk like a Pirate Day (by R Jr), also I forgot UM/T Anniversary Last week

Weather:   The upcoming occluded front could cause some bipolar tendencies in anyone who likes to get dressed in the morning for the entire day. Wearing jeans? Not so! It will be 100C by sundown. Wearing a skirt? Sorry sucka! Snow up to the cankles!

Urbandictionary word of the day: Hangry

                                                            

So hungry you are on the verge of being angry.

Nate: Wood not edible! NATE SMASH CHAIR!

BK: No need to get hangry. I’m making some mac and cheese. While you wait, you can have some broccoli.

Song of the Week: Rolling in the Deep, Adele

Notable Accomplishments:  Nate survived swim season and got first place in the fly last night. Carinne got in her first outdoor jog of 2011.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   There is a button. Do you press the button?  

FWN Member of the Week: Barson!  

Alex's most recent text message was "so were you still coming home this weekend or no?". Yesterday she was having a drafternoon on the roof with a Sam Adams Noble Pils. If Alex could have a superpower, she'd fly. Lastly, Alex enjoys coffee with creamer and sugar.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

carinnie mouse

Official Editor of FWN

Girl Scouts are diet-ruining ninjas

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 49 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Valentine’s Day

Weather:   It’s Cootie Awareness Weekend as on Monday they’ll be in multitude.  We’ll see cooties in waves all over the country- just keep your Vom-O-Meter with you at all times to be prepared and protected.  

Urbandictionary word of the day: Gloateus Maximus

                                                            

Gloating so much you become a huge pain-in-the-gluteus to those listening

MM: And THEN I got my nails done. After that, I got a coffee and lunch at starbucks. We went to Happy Hour – yeah, it was a Monday, so what?- and I got my new sweater half off at Kohl’s.

R Jr: It must be nice to be retired and get to go out every day of the week. Don’t be a gloateus maximus.

BK: It must be nice to be R Jr! ( R Jr!© All rights reserved) and be able to go to hop house every day. I don’t want to hear any of it, Gloateus Maximuses.

UM/T: We’re going to Disney!

BK: I will smack you in your gluteus. Zip it.

Song of the Week: Kiss the Girl, the little mermaid soundtrack

Notable Accomplishments: Alex got into Pitt’s graduate school program. R Jr was in the section at the superbowl that did not have seats; luckily he got upgraded to the second-level Steelers endzone seats.  Lexy’s cheer team is competing in Orlando this week. Marco safely got back from England. BK/Nicole did well at bowling this week.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Brought to you by J-Lo. What Disney Prince/Princess/Character would you like to go on a date with?

FWN Member of the Week: Chloe!  

Chloe’s current desktop background is of the college signia. Her favorite letter of the alphabet is C. If Chloe could be bilingual, she would pick Spanish so she could hear what her students are saying. Lastly, when she was a kid her household chore was to unload the dishwasher because she “mowed the lawn once and refused to ever do it again”.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Anyone else going to Orlando this weekend?

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

carinnie mouse

Official Editor of FWN

Paging Dr. Heinz, you're needed at the red zone Ward

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 48 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Allie’s Birthday, Superbowl, Lynne & Tom have their anniversary on Superbowl Sunday

Weather:   Currently it is colder in Dallas than Pittsburgh, and at points this weekend it will be colder in Dallas than both Pittsburgh and Green Bay. So come Sunday it won’t matter that you’re over 1000 miles from the game. Don a Texan accent and black/gold cowboy boots. It will feel like you’re there. GO STEELERS!

Urbandictionary word of the day: Beard

a)      The latest addition to the Steeler’s notable line of hair. Following Polamalu is Beard & Shoulders star Keisel.

b)      Sometimes spelled “beerd”, spilling a beverage on yourself due to excitement.

R Jr: Did you see that?!?! Did you see that commercial with both Polamalu’s hair and Keisel’s Beard? Man I’ve got to get a chin wig.

UM: Calm down dude or you’re going to get your beard all beerd.

Song of the Week: Here we go Steelers, here we go (chant at various bars around the country)

Notable Accomplishments: Special guest to the newsletter this week, Allie! R Jr received his AARP card this week. CPP went to the Rangers game last night. REP Jr heads to Dallas without his wedding ring or his watch; apparently he will be meeting new people and losing track of time.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   If you were to be a part of the pro-football team, what would your number be? And what is your role? (You can pick anything from a player, to a cheerleader, to anything.)

FWN Member of the Week: Allie!   

Allie was born on the year of the Ox. Her favorite class in high school was algebra. (If you fall into a pond in your undergarments, you will have an algae bra! Ha ha ha). If Allie had to dye her hair an unnatural color it would be black and gold. Lastly, the most recent song she heard was Higher by Taio Cruz.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: The FDA should dose hangover patients with Chinese food. Put some MSG and General Tso’s Sauce in pill form. Seriously, that works.

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

carinnamolecules?

Official Editor of FWN

DJ mullet earns you five dolla

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 47 Vol 3

Important Holidays: None

Weather:   First it was the iPad, then it was the facebook. Shortly after was California, Honduras, and now it is the Superbowl. Next, his name is written on tablecloths, photos of handshakes. 2011 is the year of R Jr. (R Jr!!!)

Urbandictionary word of the day: Unhappy Hour

                                                            

The lack of beverage specials from 4-8pm.

When in doubt of where to go after work, always first eliminate those with the unhappy hour.

Song of the Week: Hit the Road Jack, Ray Charles

Notable Accomplishments: Carinne got 18 inches of snow on Wednesday, double what the weathermen had predicted. This snowstorm also included thundersnow. She also won $100 and UM won $25 gift card to GIANT.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Deathmatch. Betty Crocker vs. Aunt Jemima. Salivate it out.

FWN Member of the Week: Poppy!  

Today, Poppy is wearing an olive green shirt. He has no idea why he was named Ronald (sorry R II, and CameRON and CarinnaRON and BarsRON and NatRON, your heritage is unknown). His favorite chips are corn curls and his favorite Steeler is Polamalu.  

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

carinnamolecules?

Official Editor of FWN