bbq discrepancy: barbeque? better be quick? btch be quiet?

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 17 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Independence Day, Chloe Birthday

Weather:  If you effectively sunburn your shoulders, roll up your shirt to show your pale belly, and let your legs soak in the beer cooler for an hour, you will truly demonstrate the American spirit of being red, white, and blue.  

Urbandictionary word of the day (brought to you by MA, BK, and RE Jr):  workplay

Similar to foreplay however it involves chores. Not getting any action until your household responsibilities/honey do list are done.

Nate: Ah, honey, I could use a back massage…

Nate’s future wife (tacolady?): Did you see that garage? I’m sorry but you don’t get anything until I get a little workplay. Your bike’s flat tire is such a turn off.

Song of the Week: Stars and Stripes Forever (your choice of artist)

Notable Accomplishments: Alex played in a softball game and not only did she never strike out, she got a double. This contrasts to Nicole’s softball game, where the ten-run-rule was effective. MM drank an entire box of wine on her own. Facebook reports UM is wearing daisy dukes at work.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Would you rather:

a) Have fingertips that go off like sparklers whenever you sneeze,

b) Farts that sound like firecrackers,

c) Have ears that shoot out stink bomb smoke whenever you're angry,

d) Wake up singing The Star Spangled Banner?

FWN Member of the Week: Chloe!

Chloe’s favorite dish at Panera is a turkey and swiss sandwich on whole wheat bread with southwestern corn chowder, baguette side, with an iced mocha coffee drink. If she had to dye her hair an un-natural color she’d pick dark purple. Given the option of sweating Jell-o or sweating ice cream, she’d pick Jell-o because “dairy does not do well in the heat”. She can hold her breath for 45 seconds.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: FWN book club?

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

Countess de la Riffraff

Official Editor