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Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 39 Vol 2

Important Holidays: Heather’s Birthday, First day of Chanukah

Weather:  Heat Miser bet Snow Miser on last night’s football game. Winner takes all for the next three months. Guess who picked the browns? Blame this cold spell all on the football game. He’s too much.

Urbandictionary word of the day: Canadian Refrigerator

A bank or pile of snow during the colder months of winter, where food or beverage products (namely soda and beer) can be stored. Great for parties.

BK: (In July) Ronald! Why is there a miller light stuck in the garden? This is alcohol abuse. No alcohol goes to waste in this house. 

RE: No, that was from our Martin Luther King Jr. Day Bash. We used the garden as a Canadian refrigerator. We’re finally dethawing.

BK: Oh right! (cracks it open). Ahhh.

Song of the Week: Melee, (When is) Hanukah this year?

Notable Accomplishments:  UM survived NYC and even found a stogie bar. BK employees escaped at 12 today for a holiday party. Alex’s cell phone stayed charged through a massive power outage. She also drank all of her beer in her fridge, reportedly so it wouldn’t go skunked. (Sciencey: Beers get skunked from sunlight, not from heating/cooling.) Cam had his first haircut since basic training. Nate is feeling better after a minor toe injury. The Jeep is fixed after a major injury. Ron Jr maybe didn’t drop the turkey on T-giv, but Carinne made up for it by dropping a rotisserie chicken in the grocery store and making a huge mess (causing the cashier to yell at her and say “oh the chicken just JUMPED out, did it? All by itself? Sure, hate it when that happens”. Nasty cashier.). Reportedly Carinne is on the naughty list due to her inability to cut back on her drinking. This inspired some science thinking, see graph below.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  Would you rather have a white Christmas or a Christmas on the beach? (Or hannukah, or kwanzaa, or festivus, etc.)

FWN Member of the Week: Heather!

Heather’s middle name is Dawn, and her high school mascot was a Tiger (with a blonde running behind him with a golf club, thanks KP for that one). If she were stuck on a desert island with one plug, her appliance would be a radio. Lastly, her shampoo is “fruity smelling, sort of like citrus”.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Naughty or Nice?

Look for more next time,

Candy Cane

() () () coal in my stocking

Official Editor