Ho, ho, ho, ho, oh no, Santa's lost his mojo

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 39 Vol 2

Important Holidays: Alcoholiday due to shopping stress from actual important holidays

Weather:  Heated debates and smack talk will begin, as older generation family members discuss college bowls and younger generations discuss pickle-finding on the Christmas tree and pong of beer. Steer clear of the crossfire or you may end up de-friended on facebook.

Special Holiday Section: 53.33% of FWN recipients are reportedly on the Nice list (you sure about that?). 40% are on the naughty (some deserve a spanking??). 6.66% of recipients are in limbo.

Urbandictionary word of the day: Chipmunk gift (brought to you by Gina)

A seemingly generous present that will benefit the giver as much as the receiver.

On an old Chipmunks Christmas album, Alvin, Simon, and Theodore give Dave a gift. He's overwhelmed with their generosity until he discovers it's an empty bag, which the Chipmunks say is for him to fill with presents and give back to them.

Barson: This year, dad got me a pooper scooper for Christmas. Really?

R Jr: But LOOK! It’s the deluxe! It’s purple! And your name is engraved on it!

Barson (sulks): Chipmunk gifter.

Song of the Week: My Chemical Romance, All I Want For Christmas Is You

Notable Accomplishments:  No one had major injuries due to erratic ornaments or lights falling this year. Also, high hopes for a turkey-on-the-floor free 2010.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  Would you rather be:

a)      A seasick crocodile

b)      The Grinch

c)      Scrooge

d)      Charlie Brown’s X-mas Tree?

FWN Member of the Week: The office of FWN is closed this week. Joyous 2009, everyone! We’ve gone through the entire list of recipients as FWNMOTW, so we’ll start up the shuffle again next year.  

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Naughty or Nice?

Look for more next time,

Candy Cane

() () () coal in my stocking

Official Editor