Ellifino

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 12 Vol 2

Important Holidays: Stanley Cup Playoffs

Weather: The alcohol consumption index has been increasing lately as the red-wing-winds of change are coming. Pittsburgh may as well start having beer run through the rivers, with as much celebratory Penguins alcohol intake that is taking place lately. At the very least least they could make the point fountain flowing with iron city (IC Light baby!). Go Pens!

Urbandictionary word of the day: <3

A sideways heart. Frequently you cannot insert a heart picture when you’re typing, so it is the way to type “love”. Its antonym is </3, or a broken heart, dislike. The more 3333s at the end of it, the more something is loved. It is frequently used as a sign-off in emails. It is sometimes read as “less-than-three”.

Mum mum <3 scabble. Nate <33333 Chuck Norris. Alex (to cheez-its in her bed): I less-than-three you. Ron </3 wearing thong speedos.

Song of the Week: Girlyman, St. Peter’s Bones

Notable Accomplishments:  FWN welcomes the lovely Elizabeth (cp college room mate) to the newsletter! Congrats on being accepted into the insanity. Carinne won bronze in her gym’s pentathlon. Bev was on KDKA news, interviewed regarding the homeless guy’s attack on joggers. Cam’s prom picture was in the newspaper. Nicole is building a house.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: You’re a pro hockey player and they’re announcing your name as you skate out onto the home ice rink during the Stanley Cup Playoffs. What’s the theme song they’re playing as they scream your name?

FWN Member of the Week: Evgeni Malkin!

Malkin’s Russian name is Евгений Влади́мирович Малкин. His dad’s name is Vladimir, yes, like the vodka. He was honored by the FWN when issue 4 vol 2 was titled, “E Pluribis Malkin”. To play a Malkin drinking game (not to be confused with the Staal drinking game): you’ll need a 30 pack of something nattalicious. Hold and chug your drink every time Malkin has control of the puck until he gets rid of the puck. Seriously you’ll be a goner.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

Carinne 

Scratch my back with a hacksaw

Official Editor