Alcoholics Unanimous

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 9 Vol 2

Important Holidays: Mother’s Day

Weather: Well the barometer will be rising as everyone hits up happy hour this drafternoon. That won’t lower until late evening Sunday night. Be prepared for the sudden change in sobriety state that will enter the region Monday morning!

Urbandictionary word of the day: sofa king

a. A 'friendly' way to say "so f^ck!ng".

b. Simultaneously wearing a Burger King crown and sitting on a couch.

Cam (sits down on the couch with a Burger King Crown)

Nate (sits down on the couch with a Burger King Crown)

(No words are spoken, evil death stare between the two)

Ron Jr (on the chair, no crown): There can only be one sofa king. Fight to the destruction!

Carinne/Alex (standing in the dining room, eating forbidden cookies, observing): You guys are sofa king weird.

Song of the Week: White Lies, Death

Notable Accomplishments: Alex has a summer job! Lexy’s cheer squad did very well this weekend at VA beach. Aunt Jul is off today and is enjoying a drafternoon; however there are minor difficulties: reportedly, she was walking past her stove and swinging her arms like an ape (obviously, as she typically is) when she whapped the oven handle. She now finds it extremely difficult to remove the Nattie from her can hugger (an ailment she refers to as “Can Koozie Finger”). Please send her advice on how to correct this disorder.  Last weekend’s cigar fest was a huge success for the Herf club executive officers. Last weekend was also a success in the mission of “find a 70s dance club and drink there”. Nate has a band concert Wednesday (tailgate party beforehand??). Poppy is continually making progress at therapy and impresses the nurses. Happy Mothers Day to all the baby mamas out there!

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: You’re creating a space on a monopoly board. What do you make? Only exception: you cannot replace the “get out of jail free” space. Any other space (chance, electric, normal, etc) can be edited.

FWN Member of the Week: Christine!!!

Christine's breakfast this morning consisted of a glass of ice water. "N" is her favorite letter of the alphabet, and her middle name is Marie. If she were required to give up one normal article of clothing forever, she would go sock-less.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Reward! Has anyone seen Carinne’s sunglasses? They are brown framed, big lenses. They’ve been lost since approximately AL’s 50^th. 

Look for more next time,

Carinne

May Day Hay Bay Bay

Official Editor