The art of being a serial environmental offender

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 11 Vol 2

Important Holidays: Memorial Day

Weather: It’s fair to assume there will be rain this weekend. It’s subsequently fair to assume you’ll be too drunk to notice. And that is not a bad thing.

Urbandictionary word of the day: missing link

A man who is covered head to toe with thick and wiry hair. He's so hairy, he's the missing link that connects humans to apes.

Carinne is wary of all the missing links she might see at the Jersey Shore this weekend. They’ll probably all be in speedos, too. Shudder at the thought of the protruding hair.

Song of the Week: Lazy Eye, Silversun Pickups

Notable Accomplishments:  FWN has two new recipients, AJ’s son Josh and his fiancé, Lexi. Welcome aboard! Cam is going to prom tonight. Carinne and Chloe saw Star Trek; fabulous. They also experienced Gay Appreciation day in New Hope, PA.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: Inspired by the Washington Post competition. You have to come up with a two line poem, the first line being very romantic, and the second line being not romantic in the least.

Editor Examples:

“Love and happiness, I have seeked to find. Too bad you smell like a moose’s behind.”

“Roses are lovely, chocolate is too. I hope you get eaten by a giant caribou.”

FWN Member of the Week: Skylar!

Skylar is 9 years old in people years. Her favorite toy is a mallard duck, which actually quacks. She is unhappy that UM changed the lock in the door, so she can no longer get out and “run freely through the neighborhood at will”. There is a controversy as to who actually broke UM’s screen door: was it Ronno or Skylar? (see issue 24 vol 1 for documentation of when Ronno walked into the door)

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Zilch

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Sneeze sneeze aller-geeze

Official Editor