Vampire Bunnies

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 32 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Boss’s Day, Marco Birthday

Weather:  Dense cigar smoke, errr I mean fog, is clouding up the whole issue, errr I mean forecast. Too much smoky smoky drinky drinky all of you little doggies.

Smokes & Brew Section (By MJ): Cigar is a Nub Hababo 358, smooth, rich with nutty undertones. Retails for about $4.50. Beer is 21st Amendment Brewery's Back in Black, black IPA. It looks like a stout, tastes like a hearty IPA, goes down likea porter with a bite. As MJ writes, it is the “Finest $35 case of cans I ever had.”

Special Advertisement Section: UM bought a website, www.MyCigarOutlet.com where he will sell cigars and accessories. Check his site out and maybe we can work out a special promotional FWN member discount!!!

Bonus Wine & Cigar of the Week (contributed by your Professor of Winology and Smokonomics): Wine of the week is the domaine du Grand Arc Corbieres and comes to you courtesy of the French Corbieres Appellation on the Mediterranean Sea.  And like the warm waters of the Sea and the tan bods on the beach, this wine is smooth, dark and ooooh so fine.  So get your suit on (of course it is optional in France) and drink in the pleasure. Normally, I would say drink this with red meat and strong cheeses, but screw that, just drink it with whatever you have.  Oh and pour me a glass while you are at it.  I got this wine at Arrowine in Arlington, VA and don't know if you can get this through the PA stores. The cigar of the week is a Puros Indios Maxima.  OK, I know what your thinking "has he gone off the deep end?, I would never pick that cigar".  Well "F" you all, I did !!  This smoke is a nice change of pace.  It is a nice mild/medium smoke that is a mellow change from heavy duty smokes from the last few weeks.  And lets get serious, if you get a spanking all the time it takes the fun out of it. So change it up and take a mild break.  Currently, this smoke is selling at www.cigarsinternational.com for get this ....... $39.95 per box of 20.  Thats only $2 a smoke.  Oooohh..... I see ....... now you are jumping on the bandwagon.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Ears Lowered

                                                            

Slang term for a hair cut.

Cam routinely gets his ears lowered with the army.

Song of the Week: Johann Sebastian Bach, Toccata and Fugue in D Minor

Notable Accomplishments: Cam got a tattoo. Marco was inducted into his college's Hall of Fame for soccer. Alex had success with the honors college. UM bought a website.  

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Every full moon you turn into what creature?

FWN Member of the Week: Marco!

Trick or treat! Marco picks Trick. His favorite food group is ‘meat’ and he is limited to only ten pushups at max capacity due to many upper body injuries. Lastly, his favorite Halloween costume was a tiger his mom made for him because he kept chasing his own tail in circles.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Abandon the cigarbid ship!

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

Alive with the undead

Official Editor

The Grapes of Rap

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 31 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Missed RE Jr & BK anniversary last week, 10-10-10, Columbus Day

Weather:  This week’s forecast includes the attempt to discover uncharted territory: that is, in honor of Columbus day, mixing something atrocious together in an attempt to discover a new and fabulous drink that will make your name as branded as Hennessey. Good luck.

Smokes & Brew Section (By RE Jr): Wine of the week would be Geyser Peak Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve 2006.  This wine is hitting its peak performance, unlike the Pirates, who just don't hit at all.  Very nice black cherry and plum with a good balance of tannins.  Currently at state store for $17.99. Cigar of the week is the Fortress by Carlos Torano.  Lock up the wife and kids before you light up because this Fortress takes no prisoners.  Big and strong, this smoke lives up to its name from the first puff to the last.  This smoke will spank you for 90 minutes, so don't light it up if you can't take a little smacking around.  A great value at about $4 a stick on cigarbid.  

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Masturdating

                                                            

Going out and doing date-type activities by yourself, such as going to the movies.

Last night Carinne masturdated and got a pumpkin beer at the brewery.

Song of the Week: Na, na, na (Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na) My Chemical Romance

Notable Accomplishments: New Jersey finally lifted it’s “boil water” ban.  Nicole won $1000 at Vegas. Cam did maneuvers this week in training and enjoyed them.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   What TV cartoon character (bugs bunny) or cartoon family (The Griffins) would you like to have move in next door to be a neighbor? Note: it’s TV, not movie- so you can’t pick Jessica Rabbit or Cinderella. It’s where the character debuted, so even though the Simpsons have a movie, they started on TV, so it works.

FWN Member of the Week: RE Jr!

If Dad had to dye his hair any unnatural color it would be dark green. His current desktop background is a picture of mum and him in a kayak in Alaska with the Mendenhall Glacier behind us. The most recent song he heard was on WDVE, Bennie and the Jets by Elton John (b-b-b-bennay).When he was in a frat his roles included being in charge of the kitchen for 2 years, house maintenance for 1 year and a pledge trainer once.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: nada

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

Countess de la Riffraff

Official Editor 

Awktoberfest

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 30 Vol 3

Important Holidays: BCA Month

Weather:  Vamp up those workouts kids because you’re now in the candy corridor. Pumpkin beer? Yesplease! Pumpkin Latte? Sure! Halloween candy – OHYEA! Thanksgiving- woah, I ate too much. Good grief it’s XMAS already? And suddenly you’re back at swimsuit season, 20lbs heavier looking for the Miracle OnePiece.  

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Mistext

                                                            

Accidentally texting the wrong person or saying the wrong thing. Usually combined with Auto Incorrect (bonus word!), where the automatic spell check corrects items to the wrong thing.

Greggy: (to Bev instead of Barson) Hey R U busty tonight?

Bev: What? WHAT!!

Greggy: Oh sheesh sorry mistext rofl

Song of the Week: Joe Cocker- With a Little Help From My Friends

Notable Accomplishments: Nicole got extensions and is going to Vegas. It is also Nicole and Tim’s 3^rdwedding anniversary, which has the suggested gift of “leather”. BK got on 3^rd base at the softball game. Carinne’s smoke detector mystery remains unsolved, although co-detective Alex rules out spirits because “Jersey is too dirty for ghosts”.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Local celebrity deathmatch. Your pizza delivery man vs your Chinese food delivery man? Who wins?

FWN Member of the Week: Heather!

The most recent song on Heather’s iPod was Come Fly With Me by Michael Buble. Her favorite ride at Kennywood is the exterminator, and her shampoo is thickening with a citrus smell to it. Lastly, given the option of sweating jell-o or ice cream, she’d pick Jell-o.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Make your reservations early for the Family Dead & Breakfast holiday specials…

Look for more next time,

C. Paige 

Countess de la Riffraff

Official Editor

The Science behind the Stink Bug

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 29 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Nada

Weather:  Getting bug bitten on your biceps will cause you to swell up, giving you bulkiness that  attracts women due to your muscle size, however doctors still recommend diet & exercise as the healthiest option when trying to make yourself look like The Situation.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  eau d’ouche

Editor’s note: I’m not sure if the term d-bag (abbreviated) was used “back in the day” but it is an insult. It means a jerk, a-hole, etc. I’ve heard it only exclusively toward men.

The air a d-bag brings in as he enters a scene.  

Dale: I hate that Andy Reid. Trying to make Vick #1? But is using the same number as Roethlisberger? Wannabe. And bartender, my drink has too much ice. A little less next time please? Oh honey- your skirt is too short. Cover up!

Cam: Wearing that eau d’ouche a bit strong tonight, aren’t we?

Song of the Week: Under Pressure, The Used & My Chemical Romance

Notable Accomplishments: Nate and RE Jr. survived the golf tournament last weekend. The MD wine festival was enjoyed by all. WVU won last weekend.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   You’re a radio DJ. What’s your name? You can also be a talk show, like Delilah after Dark.  

FWN Member of the Week: Heather!

Heather didn’t reply to the questionnaire, will catch her next time!!

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

Countess de la Riffraff

Official Editor

conquering sushi one grain of rice at a time

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 28 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Fall Begins

Weather:  If you think you’re going to be caught in a rainstorm, you probably will. If you see sunny skies, that’s what will hit you. It’s all in your outlook.  

Brews, Loose Screws, Cigars & Wine (Brought to you by Field reporter RE JR): 

Kecksburg, PA is having thier annual UFO Festival this weekend.  It commemorates a Dec. 9, 1965 incident where there was a sighting.  Some observers claim the military came and took an object and the files have been sealed by the government.  Schedule of events include: parade, UFO dog eating contest, lecture by a UFO expert (also a big foot expert) and a burn out contest (????) among others. FWN is now taking applications to cover this event live; incentives include BFRO membership.   In competition with UFO Fest, Octoberfest celebrations kickoff bigtime this weekend with some really great brews in Pittsburgh. Penn Brewery Octoberfest won 3rd place in a competition, and I concur, it is one of the best.  But lots of good Octoberfest brews out right now. Cigar of the week is:  Carlos Torano Fortress - 6" by 60 ring guage (yes ladies it’s the big one) packed with power.  Smooth but assertive, just the way you like it!

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Moonbathing

Being outside at night, basking in the moonlight. Sunbathing during the lunar hours.

With the addition of the hot tub and the lessening of daylight, LV Parks spend a lot of time moonbathing.

Song of the Week: Kansas, Carry On Wayward Son

Notable Accomplishments: Nate and RE Jr. have a golf tournament this weekend in Williamsport. Carinne has been made chair of a committee for her society.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   What board game would you like to compete in in a real life competition? Not as a board, but as if it were a real-life obstacle. For example if you pick Battleship maybe you’re sinking sea carriers out in the Atlantic. If you pick Chutes and Ladders, expect some slip n’ slides and a hefty workout.

FWN Member of the Week: Mark!

If Mark had to give up a sense, he’d pick the sense of smell because half of them are bad anyway and he’d eat less. His superhero power of choice is X-Ray. His mascot was the Mighty Dragons. Lastly, the most recent meal he had (and this questionnaire is ~2wks old) was spinach dip with toasted baguette slices.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Now marketing CP’s Poor Girl Pumpkin Ale…  Barson is looking for a full time job for after college…

Look for more next time,

C. Paige 

Countess de la Riffraff

Official Editor

you all are a bunch of drunkin' sailors!*

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 27 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Poppy Birthday

Weather:  Chances are you learned the hard way this week that most hot tubs are not, in fact, time machines.

Urbandictionary word of the day:  Brodak Moment

A perfect picture with only the guys.

At last weekend’s flip cup match we snagged a picture of team man during their Brodak Moment, plus MM.

Song of the Week: LFO, Summer Girls

Notable Accomplishments: Nicole got served lunch by Polamalu. Team Man won many flip cup games last weekend. The hot tub is fixed. Cam passed his chemistry test so missing the first semester won’t hinder his ability to be on schedule. UM/T/Lexy have survived their cruise. Carinne won game #1 on her football pool; only fifteen more to go. Mark, UM and RE Jr are on the front page of Cigars International website.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Unfortunately money doesn’t grow on trees, however assuming you had a magic tree in your backyard, what food would grow on it?

Ex., I’m gonna go pick me a peck of McDonald’s French fries!

FWN Member of the Week: Poppy!

Poppy’s favorite season is football season. Dinner last night consisted of corn, chicken pasta dish, and a roll. The first pet he ever had was Missy who was a mutt. Lastly, his first job was in high school at the ball farm (what on earth do they make there?).

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Cotton Candy. Get your Cotton Candy here.

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

Countess de la Riffraff

Official Editor

*subject brought to you by RE Jr., All rights reserved.

ribfest, jagerfest... (insert your)fest... t-rexfest...

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 26 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Labor Day

Weather:  Sometimes you throw your line in the pond and you pull out a boot. Sometimes you throw your line in the pond and find an underground mermaid bar! Therefore a case of Keystone light and a fishing pole is in your forecast as you fish for treasures.

 

Urbandictionary word of the day:  nomonym

Eating something that tastes like something else.

Nate: Hmm.. This meatball is chewy... There's some weird yellow stuff in it... That's dill... Mum! This isn't homemade spaghetti and meatballs, it's leftover meatloaf from yesterday! I know I was having a nomonym.

Song of the Week: Cee Lo, F^*k You

Notable Accomplishments: Carinne has a tomato fairy godmother. BK joined the work softball team. Alex picked a fight against flags in West Virginia and lost. Alex's birthday has now been officially overshadowed by the birth of the hot tub, which has been successfully installed. UM/T/L's cruise may be impacted by the hurricane. Carinne stopped traffic on the north shore today.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   Traditionall triumphant entrances are made by riding in to town on a valiant horse. Hypothetically horses are endangered- what do you instead lasso and ride in on? Nothing is excluded, mythical or real.

FWN Member of the Week: The House on McLane Ave

The House on McL Ave has tile on its porch that resembles something very offensive but actually means love and hope. It has a giant couch and beanbag that are great for guests to sleep on, not for burning. Mutt's is a fine establishment within walking distance from the house. Lastly, the house is occupied by five girls who like pina coladas.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: hop hizzle hop hop

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

Countess de la Riffraff

Official Editor