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Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 2 Vol 5

Important Holidays: St. Patrick’s Day

Weather:  What luck! After a really awkward thumb-wrestling match, the Irish have beat the Mexicans and acquired a weather trade. So your St. Patrick’s Day will be May-like. But come Cinco de Mayo, no one wants to hear none o’ your whining when it’s windy and cold. 

Urbandictionary word of the day: Irish Goodbye

To leave or back out of a social situation without saying goodbye.

NC: So here’s another one. What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?

NC: No one? No one?

NC: A LEPER CON! Ha ha ha.

NC: What where did everyone go? No farewell? Darn Irish goodbyes. These were good jokes, too.

Song of the Week: Thin Lizzy, Whiskey in the Jar

Notable Accomplishments:  Lexy’s cheer squad was invited to visit the state capital to be recognized by the legislature due to their championship successes. There will be a media session and they will be recognized in the senate gallery. UM & RE Jr survived the Puerto Rico trip; each had new highs in number of cigars they had in one day (UM = 14, REP Jr = 13). They also got kicked out of their first hotel. AJ survived her Georgia trip.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:  Yeh are playin at the casino, ye ar. It’s all down to this – yer bettin’ the farm and the whole crop o potatoes. Thankfully, ye brought yer Irish Good Luck charm. Wot is it?

a)   -a) A rather oversized sombrero

b)   b) Your one eyed crow, which oddly stays put on your shoulder and can speak small phrases like a parrot

c)   c) A peach pit

d)   d) It’s not a luck charm per se, but instead the fact that you’re only wearing one sock, your left sock. 

FWN Member of the Week: McGreggy O’Greggy!

Mr. McGreggy O’Greggy did not respond to the questionnaire. Better luck next time!

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada   

Look for more next time,

McCarinne O’

The golden keg of Bud Light under the Rainbow

Official Editor