Family Weekly Newsletter
Issue 23 Vol 4
Important Holidays: Nada
Weather: Scientifically, a haboob is a duststorm or sandstorm. This is not to be confused with underboob, which is an unfortunate condition commonly noted while wearing a swimsuit. As the hot weather is a good source for both, be on the watch for both the haboob and the underboob this week.
Urbandictionary word of the day (brought to you by D): Jesusy Things
When you feel religious décor is inappropriate, you can request its relocation by asking that all Jesusy Things are removed.
Based on a true story:
D: And send a bouquet, but not with any of those Jesusy Things.
Florist: I know someone at my church with your last name. Are you related to B?
D: Uhhh…
Florist: Don't I also give your son drum lessons?
D: Uhhh…
Song of the Week: Toby Keith, I Love This Bar
Notable Accomplishments: The newsletter's Top Ten Hypothetical Situations of the Week got published in a magazine. MM got a new car (taking name suggestions). BK and RE Jr went to the Steelers game last night. Alex spotted pumpkin beer. Cam underwent surgery for his toe.
Hypothetical Situation of the Week: Okay, it's been awhile for a mad lib. Before reading below, pick a FWN member and a noun. For those of you who need a reminder, a noun is a person, place, thing, or idea.
You make the decision to see a hypnotist to cure your bad habit. Unfortunately, due to budget cuts, your hypnotist is Dr. (FWN member), who inadvertently convinces you that you are (a/an, as applicable) (noun).
FWN Member of the Week: UM!
The most recent movie UM saw in a theater was Hangover 2. He is 1.8796 meters tall, and if forced to go either shoeless or shirtless for an entire year he'd go shoeless because his "abs are not up to par, and he could be the crazy sock guy!". His favorite kind of dessert is a stogie, but if it has to be a sweet, he likes twinkies.
Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)
Classifieds: Nada
Look for more next time,
c@r!nn3
Miss Mumbo Jumbo
Official Editor
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