cadillac ranch

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 15 Vol 3

Important Holidays: First Day of Summer

Weather:  Headaches will ensue from one of two sources: professional soccer playing wannabes working on their headball, or too much booze. Pick your poison because it’s bound to occur one way or the other.    

Urbandictionary word of the day:  bored to debt

Spending money just to escape boredom.

AL: Look at this brand new statue of Thomas Edison I purchased! It is life size for our front yard!

Tom: What the…?

AL: And I bought him six new outfits so he can dress appropriately for the weather!

Tom: Lynne….

AL: I hear there’s a sale at Kohl’s on Santa Hats! I better go get his xmas outfit!

Tom: Ok, now you’re just bored to debt. I’m sure we have a lawn that needs mowed, or something…

Song of the Week: Usher, Little Freak

Notable Accomplishments: Tom is out of the hospital. Liz got straight A’s in law school. Cam and Nate beat Carinne and Jonaid in beer pong. Alex survived a history nerd party. UM/T survived OBX. Tracy has officially been flagged as “updates facebook too much” by the official “facebook update too much committee” of UM.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   You are genetically similar to Edward Scissorhands except it’s only one hand. Pick the item (i.e., scissor) that your other hand is.  

FWN Member of the Week: Gina!

If Gina were stranded on a desert island with an electrical outlet, she’d bring a coffee maker. Her favorite ride at Kennywood is the Thunderbolt. This morning for breakfast she had coffee and Canadian Bacon. Her computer background is currently a picture of her dachshund-beagle mix, Bo.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada  

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

Do not snort the wasabi.

Official Editor