Secret Asian Man

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 45 Vol 1

Important Holidays: Chinese New Year (Monday, hit up the buffets!)

Special Holiday Section: Let's get pepped up for the Chinese New Years by looking back to issue #23, from August 14^th. The HSOTW was: You become a fortune-cookie-fortune writer. What is the prank fortune you write in one of the cookies?

Here are some of your answers.

Fortune: "I hope you didn't eat this cookie"

Fortune straight to the point:  "In bed"

Fortune:  This space for rent

Fortune. Wadda u lookin at?!

Fortune: Made in Taiwan

Fortune: Keep eating fortune cookies and your ass will get big.

Weather: Massive amounts of bloating roll in after way too much lo mein sinks into the system. Keep your gas-ex on hand, folks.  

Special New Years Weight Loss Section: Keep up on the good work! Only three more weeks til the competition ends. The only update this week is that AJ has unfortunately gained weight.

Urbandictionary word of the day: Obamama

Michelle Obama. The First Lady of the 44th President of the United States of America, Barack Obama.

Here comes Mr. President and his Obamama.

Notable Accomplishments: We welcome Chloe, Carinne's room mate from college, to the FWN! Plans are being made for many to return to the Steeler Mecca to pay homage for the bowlio de supero.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: So, you're elected for president or some crazy thing like that. Who'd vote for you, no one knows. Must be that hella campaign job you did… Giving out free booze always works… So here we go –

What are you elected president of? What is the first bill/ordinance/law (call it what you will) that you sign?

FWN Member of the Week: Nicole!

Nicole had a gyro for lunch, since apparently there was a competition at work and she was on the losing team (and did not receive a pizza lunch). Superlame. When the superbowl day rolls around, she will be wearing her Jeff Reed Jersey, jeans, black and gold scarf, and black and gold beads. She doesn't have a favorite superbowl snackfood, but enjoys making chili for everyone because

A) everyone says it's world class and

B)it's really the only thing she knows how to make. (I think we should have a FWN private screening/taste test of this chili.)

Her high school mascot was a 'Raider' of Seneca Valley Raiders.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: You wan wai wice or fei wice?

Look for more next time,

Carinne

Fortune: Great drunkenness awaits

Official Editor