The Real Beer Bellies of Stillers Country

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 44 Vol 1

Special Early Edition because many recipients will be on holiday tomorrow

Important Holidays: MLK Jr Day, Obama's Inauguration, Geo Birthday, AFC/NFC Championship games

Weather: For those of us unfortunate enough to not be traveling to warmer weather to celebrate MLK Jr day, bust out your coronas, swim suit, beach towel, and crank the heat. Fill up your bathtub with hot hot water, soak in the humidity. Blare some Jimmy Buffett and hire your younger sibling/son/daughter to serve you drinks. Who says you can't bring the tropics to you?

Special New Years Weight Loss Section: To help motivate you, here are some inspirational tidbits:

Aunt Lynne is kicking butt with a 4.6lb weight loss! UM is not kicking butt as he was unaware the competition had started. (The competition has started). Bev ordered a salad (albeit a taco salad) for lunch yesterday. It is reported that her lunch lady was "astounded". Bev also lost 4 oz. Woohoo! Keep up the good work!

Urbandictionary word of the day: Kitchenheimer's

When you're in the kitchen going around in circles because you can't remember what you were doing there.

Blimpie: (singing to herself as she walks down the stairs) Where's the cheezits, where's the cheezeits, where's the cheezits… (Arrives in kitchen) OOOH! Forbitten cookies!!! … wait why did I come down here? Darn kitchenheimer's.

Notable Accomplishments: Poppy has begun outpatient therapy, 3x per week. Ron & Bev will be in Palm Springs this time tomorrow. Carinne will be sober in her cubicle this time tomorrow. If the Steelers lose on Sunday, it's UM's fault. Bev is embarking on a yoga class that lasts til mid-April! Carinne found her long lost watch.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: MLK Jr's speech is something to be honored and respected. This HSOW does not intentionally offer any insolence or contempt to his legacy. My apologies if you are offended.

You're standing in front of

1. A bar full of drunk British cowboys/cowgirls
2. All of the fans, players, news stations, etc, that are at the Steelers game on 1/18 (this Sunday) (so you're on the turf at Heinz Field)
3. Your boss
4. The creativity, marketing, taste testing, and innovation team of Milwaukee's Best (and Beast Light)

You are handed a microphone. You begin with, "I have a dream," and continue with ?

FWN Member of the Week: Ronno Eugeneo Senioro

For breakfast, Poppy had OJ, French toast, oatmeal, and tea. If he could be on any game show, he would want to be on the Price is Right. His favorite wine is Franzia Chardonnay, and in high school his favorite class was math.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Carinne is doing beer Olympics this weekend. Her team is representing the Transylvania Transvestites, and you have to dress to represent your country. Any suggestions?

Look for more next time,

Carizzle Parizzle

I have a dream

Official Editor