Get Ready Kids, It's National Park Week!

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 5 Vol 6

Important Holidays: Friday the 13th; RE Jr.'s birthday; National Karaoke Week, National Family Week!!!!! (yes, we ARE that famous.) 

Weather:  There is a 100% chance of aging; however, there is a belief that excessive drinking and sitting on the deck will reverse the aging process.

Urbandictionary word of the day: Speakerphony

Someone who uses a speakerphone to feel like they're important even though it's for something stupid.

Dale: I want a transfer of $2 billion from my Swiss bank account. 

 Callee: Hello, this is Wal-mart...RE Jr.: Keep talkin', speakerphony

Song of the Week: “You're a douchebag Jagr," DVE's Mario (See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiXnI87d3T0)

Notable Accomplishments:  Bernie is open for the season!  The Pirates won the opening series against the Phillies; Deighton came back for two shifts this past week; the big pine tree (complete with Christmas lights from ten years ago) has now been cut down from the yard; the soft top has been put on the Jeep; new battery for Hondude; Stogie is still number one at the HH for trivia since last week.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:    You have tickets to tonight's Pens playoff game against the Flyers.  What do you write on the sign you brought to the game to get on TV?

Stogies and Wine: (Brought to you by RE Jr.): Rockey Patel Old World Reserve-it's square-pressed, but it ain't for squares.  Strong smoke, guaranteed buzz.  Goes well with Las Perdices Malbec.  It's spicy like Argentina.  In fact, it makes you wanna dance!

 

FWN Member of the Week: RE Jr!!!  

If he had to grow a playoff beard and had to dye it an unusual color, he would dye it green.  His chore growing up was doing dishes and also mowing the grass.  His first pet growing up was a poodle mix named Missy.  If he could do anything, he would be a chef or a novelist.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Nada  

Look for more next time from your regularly scheduled editor,

Barson