All Rise, The Jury is Entering Court

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 39 Vol 4

Important Holidays: Heather’s Birthday

Weather:  Beware, everything you say and do can and will be used against you in a system of newsletter mockery.

Urbandictionary word of the day: Passport to Jersey

Dressing as if you are from/going to Jersey; ie, fake tans, fauxhawks, poufs, cheetah prints, oversized beads, and the like. YEA BUDDY

Nate: What is that smell?

CP: It is eau de turnpike. I’m traveling back to NJ today so I have to be proper in case the authorities pull me over at the border.

Song of the Week: Billy Squier, Christmas is the time to say “I Love You”

Notable Accomplishments:  RE Jr’s second hip replacement was a raging success. DM has been released from her walker. Nate has been made captain of the swim team. Greggy got into grad school. Cam is chaplain of his frat. Carinne is juror no. 1 in a civil trial.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week: You live in a gingerbread house. Of course you’re being featured on the GHGTV (Gingerbread HGTV). What delicious part of your home or garden are they featuring?

For example it could be the cream-cheese icing crown molding in your dining room. Or perhaps your walk-in iced sugar cube box to hold all of your special wines.

FWN Member of the Week: Heather!

Heather is on the nice list; actually, she’s never been on the naughty list. Her shirt today is light blue and if she had to have one of the reindeers as pets she’d pick Rudolph. Lastly, her high school mascot was a Tiger.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: Please contact UM if you’d like to get in to his college football bowl pool.

Look for more next time,

c@r!nn3

Juror No. 1