GTL My Esophagus Muscles

Family Weekly Newsletter

Issue 37 Vol 3

Important Holidays: Nada

Weather:   All this week be preemptively thankful. Right now, I’m thankful that it’s Friday.  

Wine of the Week: Dr Avanti. After hearing of the Chinese trend of pouring coke in red wine I tested it out by using common household sodas (Diet Dr. Pepper) and a red wine (Viansa Sempre Avanti) to generate Dr. Avanti. The cherry, carbonation, and licorice of this was, in a word, abhorrent. It was as if I was back in college with a bottle of cream soda, three kinds of booze, and was painfully sober with the only option of mixing them all together to see what happens, and then drinking it because you’re in college and for some reason, that’s just what you do. Anyway, Dr. Avanti, I think we need to see paperwork of your qualifications because you are quite possibly a quack. And with Dr. Ali and Lawyer Liz on this alias, you won't get far with faulty documentation.

Urbandictionary word of the day (by Greggy):  Brolerance

                                                            

The degree of tolerance you have for your bros.

Greggy: Man he hit my car, stole my girl, and lit a fart in my room. But we’ve been friends since elementary school and we still are. High level of brolerance.

Song of the Week: Destiny’s Child, Say My Name

Notable Accomplishments: Starting today Barson is on vacation; the rest of us are jealous.

Hypothetical Situation of the Week:   It’s not quite the Thanksgiving issue yet, but we can get vamped up for it.

You are in the Macy’s Day Parade walking with a giant balloon. What balloon do you walk with? You can pick one that already exists (ex, snoopy) or one that doesn’t but you’d like it to (i.e., a blow up of Angelina Jolie… or maybe a can of peanut butter… Anything).

FWN Member of the Week: Tracy!

Tracy’s favorite thing on the table at Thanksgiving is the turkey. The non-family non-friend non-love material object she is thankful for is her crackberry. Today, Tracy is wearing a black shirt. If she had to dye her hair a nontraditional color it would be orange.

Thanks! (clap clap clap clap clap)

Classifieds: I’m missus gobblegobble, I’m missus gravy… I’m actually missus shopaholic on black Friday and then top it off at HH. Yes yes yes.

Look for more next time,

C. Paige

Pizzy Pants maybe don’t fit after T-giv dinner

Official Editor